Holding On To You

Chapter 1- The Beginning

Let us start from the beginning.

I am Jamie Austen, and I am not your stereotypical teenager. My family is... or was... Rich. My mother was one of the highest ranking fashion designers in the country, alongside my father who is a widely recognized lawyer. I am an only child, and due to the fact that both of my parents are full time workaholics, I was nothing to them. But in the eyes of one particular person, I was everything; 'Nana'... I quivered in my bedsheets as the sky rumbled outside my window...I couldn't move a muscle. I would get up and find Nana myself, but I was scared of the thunder. As much as I would never, ever admit it to anybody...not that there was anyone to admit it too, I was terrified. A Nine year old boy should not be afraid of a storm. He should be strong. I bet my father was not scared of storms when he was a child, so why should I be? I told myself this countless times until the loudest clap of thunder burst the windows open. With wide eyes I screamed 'Nana!'...'click' the light in my room blinded my eyes as I heard soft footsteps across the large bedroom. The bed sunk in as I felt Nana rest her hand on my shoulder, shaking me with such care and compassion, as if at any moment I might shatter before her.

'Jamie' she whispered softly. I slowly emerged from the sea of blankets and looked her in the eyes. Nana was a short squat woman of about 40. She had long brown hair that I like to play with and a single dimple on her right cheek. 'Aw, my poor baby boy, come here', I gather my teddy and crawled to her, she placed a hand on my cheek and swiped away the tears I hadn't noticed fall. As I looked into her soft blue eyes I opened my arms and she encompassed me in her strong motherly grasp. With a deep sigh, buried in the scent of floral perfume with a hint of vanilla, I was finally able to relax.

'It's all going to be alright my darling Jem, would you like some hot milk, or do you want to come back with me?' I shook my head at the first offer and eagerly nodded to the second.

As we trekked down the staircase, Nana reached for my hand. I did not hesitate to entangle my small fingers with her somehow soft, work worn hands, and we made our way to her quarters. As we hopped into bed, a question popped into my head. 'Nana?'

'Yes, dear Jem?' she sat up and looked into my bright green eyes.

'Why can't you be my mother?' I questioned with furrowed brows.

Her eyes widened at this, and for a second I thought she was angry with me, but she started to giggle...and giggle, and somehow (not that I understood) I sent her into hysterics.

'Oh, my dear Jem, you are simply one of a kind, if only I was your mother, we would run for the hills and spend a lifetime together of happiness. But unfortunately Jamie, in this world, not all things add up, for example, why I am not your mother. I am simply your Nana. But you know what? Nanas are far better than mothers'

I was extremely confused by her words and simply nodded. Snuggling into her warm chest I rid myself of all my worries and dove into a deep sleep; No matter what, I knew Nana had my back. Despite the fact that she wasn't my biological mother, she was the best thing that ever happened to me. Nana would be the one to help me if I had a problem understanding a math equation, and heck! She was the one who explained to me the curse of puberty. She had the best sense of humor and the kindest eyes you ever saw. Nana was my family. I lived in the same house as my parents, but they were always away on business, and when I did see them, it was to discuss schooling, social skills, or to show me of to some work colleague or other. They pretended to adore me, they even payed for photographers to take photos of us to hang in the hallway. But once the visitors left I was once again invisible. The singular family dinner that I remember attending, was when I was 13, where the only things discussed was my schooling, physical health, and the establishment that Nana was responsible enough to take me on in a small house across town. Clearly, I was too much of a burden. This was convenient as most public places were around the corner, and not much changed beside the fact that Nana had more free time, as the cleaning was cut in half. The mall was a 10 minute walk and there were multiple parks around the place. I spent 2 happy years with nana in that house, keeping fit by going for walks and coming home to the world's best cooking.

However, happy endings are rare in this cruel world. One fateful day, my 'mother' wished to visit, and Nana had to go pick her up; 'You behave now young Jem, you may be 15, but don't think that gives you rights in the pantry, I want all those biscuits where I left them when I get back. If you're hungry eat an apple, and if you are so bored, go outside and have a conversation with someone other than the old lady next door, someone of your own age perhaps..' she continued to babble as she filled her water bottle up, placed it into her carry bag, and made her way to the front door. I followed close behind nodding yes when required and rolling my eyes when she wasn't looking. 'I will be back tomorrow morning, if you need anything, call me', she said with a stern look in her eyes, I walked out and saw her to her car.

'Nana, quit worrying, I'll be fine, as you said I am 15 and fully capable of looking after myself, I'll even clean the kitchen while you're gone' I said in irritation...with a tinge of sarcasm.

As she jumped into the front seat of her small green Mazda I saw a tear fall down her cheek, as she desperately tried to hide it with a smile I bent down and snuck a kiss onto her cheek.

'I love you Nana, don't worry about me, I'll be fine'

'Oh, I know you will Jem...I love you too', she slowly reversed out of the driveway, wound down the window, and with a final blown kiss goodbye, she was gone.