Deep diving

5

Taylor closed his eyes. He wanted to know she's okay. He couldn't imagine his life without her. It would be such a nightmare. Even though sometimes it seemed like Taylor had helped Gaga a lot, Gaga had helped Taylor to get through of his problems. They weren't as big as Gaga's, but still. He had no idea why he was standing in the hospital right now, waiting to hear was her girlfriend ok or not. Taylor was still shocked about what he saw earlier, but right now he wanted to see her, kiss her and make her smile. He wanted to see the smile that light up his days more than anything. But first, he wanted just to see her. Maybe hold her and, talk thisand that. Help her to get through of this hell. He wanted to tell her she wasn't alone at all. He wanted to help.

"It looks like Stefani lost a lot of blood. We did everything we could and she's eating right now in her room. If you two want to, you can see her", the doctor said with a smile on her face. Taylor took Tara's hand and pulled her with him.

"Uhm hey, Taylor, I can't come right now if you don't mind. Tell her I love her. I can't see her yet, my heart would break in million pieces.  But thanks for everything Taylor. I'll go and clean the bathroom", Tara said and before Taylor could answer, she turned around and walked away very quickly. Taylor didn't know at all why she acted like that. Deep inside Tara felt like this all was her fault. She promised Taylor to make sure Gaga eats and she didn't. Tara felt so bad.

"That's what love is. Let her go, she will come to your door tomorrow and ask for a kiss", the doctor said.

"Excuse me? She's not my girlfriend. I'm here to see my girlfriend."

"Oh, you're Stefani's boyfriend! Come here, I'll show you where she is! I'm sorry, I just think you two would've made a cute couple..."

"Stop." Taylor closed his eyes and started to follow the doctor. He didn't know what to feel about this all. He wasn't sure if he could see her in the hospital bed with tears on her face. But because he loved her so much, he opened the door and walked in.

Gaga had fallen asleep. She was sleeping in the bed, her left hand under her head. She looked so tiny and weak. Taylor walked next to her and sat down. He took her hand in his. It was cold. He just watched how calm she was while sleeping. He gave a tiny kiss on her hand and noticed there was tears on his face. He wiped them away. One of them fell on Gaga's hospital bed. He started to talk to her even though she was sleeping.

"Hi baby. I'm sorry I didn't look after you so well. I'm so sorry. I knew you were going to Tara's place, I shouldn't have let you go. This all is my fault and I don't know what to do to make you feel better. I'm so worried of you. But we will get through of this together, I promise." Taylor cried next to her. He squeezed her hand a little. She woke up to that. Someone would thought she would've have pulled her hand out of his as soon as she woke up, but she didn't. She was kind of happy to have him there.

"Oh my god sweetie", Taylor whispered and kissed her hand, "how are you feeling?" Gaga smiled. Taylor smiled back at her. That smile was everything he needed right now. Seeing her smile made him immediately happier. She looked him in the eyes and smiled again.

"Better than earlier", she answered and squeezed his hand a little. He moved a few hair away from her beautiful face.

"I'm glad", he said.

"I'm so sorry about leaving you like that... I just couldn't handle the fact that it was you who cancelled my tour. And I'm sorry about what happened today. I'm so stupid."

"Didn't you hear what I said? I said it's all my fault and I will help you to get through of this no matter what. You're not stupid honey", Taylor told her.

"Thank you T. I love you so much." Gaga put her arms around Taylor and he came closer to her face. He put his hands on her cheeks, pulling her closer and closer until their lips touched. She felt like maybe everything would be ok again. But still, she was thinking about her weight and food. It controlled her mind. She wanted to be fine but something made her feel bad and insecure. She still wanted to lose some weight cause she wasn't happy with her body at all.