Ae Dil Hai Mushkil

The day we met again...

The moment I stepped outside the bar, I felt someone's gaze.. like someone is there beside me. Maybe it was the effect of too much alcohol in my system, so I kept walking towards the parking area slowly thinking of it as nothing, but my imagination.

Suddenly, someone grabbed my arm and pinned me to the nearest wall.
I got panicked and afraid, I screamed loudly, and tried to take off whoever's hand was on my mouth. There's no way I wanted to get raped in the isolated alley with a stranger. So with all my strength and knowledge about kung fu, I pushed him away since he was in front of me and then kicked him down earning a loud grunt from him. The person fall onto the ground with a thud sound.

I opened my eyes and faced him. And to my surprise, it wasn't a stranger but p'Arthit! Oh god! What did I do?
Shit!
God dammit! Why did I drink so much? What am I gonna do now?

"P'Arthit khap? Are you ok?"

He tried to smiled my way, but in vain. He groaned due to the pain. I guess I hit it brutally.
"Ahh Kong, I guess I broke a few bones.., ahh"

I pulled him back and carry him towards my car.

"I'm so sorry, phi. I thought it's a stranger. I'm so sorry na."

"You stupid, at least check who you are beating, ahh"
"But I should really appreciate your bravery huh. Where did you learn all this?"

I blushed at the praise and replied, "I.. I actually saw it in Jackie Chan's movie"

"Wow you are so cool man!"
"It's been so long since we last met and you have changed this much. I'm so happy that my scaredy cat has now turned into a little simba (lion) hehe."

"Yeah.. cause you weren't here with me", I mumbled the last part.

"Well I am now! I came here so that I can spend the new year with my bestie. And since the shooting of the series is here now, so me and my girlfriend would be here with you for a whole year!!

"Wh.. What??? You have a girlfriend?"

How come I don't know, I have read all his magazines, seen all his interviews..

"Ya, we met three years back. She's so cute!! She's a co-actor of mine in a series."
"Sorry for not telling earlier, actually we didn't tell anyone yet, it's a secret for now"
A gummy smile and that wink after the he completed the sentence was enough for my heart.

That's just.. I could literally hear the voice of something breaking into pieces.. and that something was my heart. At the moment he was describing her, there was a shine in his eyes, smile on his lips and an unusual proud on his face which clearly shows how much he admires her. My head is hurting and the alcohol in my system is making it worse..

"You want to ask everything here, or should we head back first? I missed my best friend!"

"Ya ya, let's go back."
"I missed u too, phi"

We hopped into the car, he drove it back, since I was drunk as hell~

The ride was filled with his lively talks and my occasional mumblings..
We reached back home at 1 am.

Next morning..

I cried and cried silently.
Why? Why did he has to do this?
Did he really never see me as nothing but a best friend..?
Was it only me, who thought that maybe he loves me too..?

I really don't know what to do..
I drank to forget about him but he has to come there. Why? Why??

I sat up and went to drink some water to ease the burning pain down my throat.
I was going towards the kitchen, when I saw him talking to someone through video call..

I peeked through the door just to see him talking to his fann, p'Nam, the co actress he was talking about....

The look on his face, the affection in his eyes toward HER made me feel suffocated. I ran back to the room, unable to handle more.
I still remember how he look at her with those loving eyes..
Should I just give up?
Cause he never really...
Is he so oblivious to notice? That me.... his best friend.. loves him.

I've fallen in love with him from a long time, it's been three years now but..
Now he loves p'Nam..
Those fond eyes are always looking for her, it seems like this look, this affection is only reserved for her..
Only for her..

Will I ever be able to get his love? Or will I suffer from 'la douleur exquise..'
(The terms coins the exquisite pain of forever wanting someone who will never return ur love..)

Author's note

Hi everyone!!
Well that's what I got for you guys today.
I hope u all like it.. cause I clearly didn't... It's so sad😣

Oh and ya the expression I used in the end was mentioned in the book 'What are we' written by the very talented ohrehvwar

Thank u so much for reading this chapter and my blabbering
Have a cheerful day! Take care and keep smiling!

Until then
B bie!!!