If a Pine Tree Falls in a Forest...

The Beginning of the End

  Stanford paced in the living room.

  Once again, Mabel had ventured into the forest in search of her brother, while Stanley had been silently staring into his coffee for the past hour. Since the failed exorcism, it seemed as if an already fragile dynamic had shattered. Had this begun before he'd stepped through the portal? Regardless, Stanford had somehow been the catalyst.

  Stanford shook the thoughts away. He had to focus! Somehow, he had to get Dipper back, and he must find a way to expel Bill. Despite the fact that he'd disassembled the portal, Bill could still find a way to this dimension. With the rift still in existence, and with no safe way to be rid of the thing, the only option left was to find a way to expel Bill. Opening the hidden compartment where he kept the rift, Stanford looked in horror upon seeing it empty.

"Shit!"

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  "Physical form, don't mind if I do!"  Dipper watched in glee as Bill's regular two dimensional form shifted, soon being encased in a black substance that oddly reminded him of the rift.

Dipper's breath caught in his throat at the sight of Bill's physical form.

Rather than the three dimensional triangle he expected, Bill had taken on a more human appearance. His hair was bright blonde on top, shaved on one side with it continuing underneath, revealing a dark black color. One eye was covered by a triangular eye patch, the other shining a bright blue; just like Bill's flames. He was tall, with deeply tanned skin; Egyptian, if Dipper were to guess. To top off the new form, Bill wore a suit with a bright yellow suit jacket, a brick pattern decorating the tailcoats.

Bill cackled, revealing fangs and a forked tongue. "Fleshbags of Gravity Falls!" He started, cackling. "For one trillion years I've been stuck in that damned decaying dimension, searching for a new one to call my own. Names Bill, Bill Cipher. You can call me your new overlord and god. Now, here's the group of nightmares and monsters I call my friends! Eight Ball! Crypto! Zanthar! Then, who could forget, Teeth, Keyhole, Hexagon, Amorphous Shape, Pyroncia, and these guys," he gestured to the floating eye-bats flying above the demons. "And, of course, the one who made this all possible! The one and only-"

"Dipper?"

Said person stopped his barely internal cackling from where he'd been perched on top of the Nathaniel Northwest statue. He looked over to see a familiar head of bright blonde hair.

"Dipper?" Pacifica repeated, disbelief coloring her face and voice. "What are you doing with that psycho?" Instead of answering the girl, Dipper just laughed, feeling something inside him snap.

"Now, as Mayor of this town, I order you to get out! Get out!" Tyler spoke, shaking his fist and entirely ignoring Dipper. The people of Gravity Falls gathered behind their mayor, much to his amusement. In one smooth motion, Dipper jumped from the statue, still chuckling.

"You really think you can order a demon to leave? You people are more moronic than I even thought!" He cackled.

"Woah, Dipper, man! What are you doing with Bill?" Wendy spoke now, shoving her way to the front of the crowd.

"Oh Red, good question! You people ignored your greatest resource! Pine Tree here left you meat sacks behind to deal with your own shit!"

"Bill, was it?" Preston Northwest spoke up, practically radiating smugness. "I would like to say as a rich capitalist I welcome your tyrannical rule," he threw a disgusted look at Dipper. "Perhaps I could be one of your Horsemen of the Apocalypse?"

"Dad!"

"Not now, sweetie. The grownups are talking."

"Interesting offer," Bill cackled, "Pine Tree, you take care of him." The teen smiled at this, more than happy to oblige.

"Y'know Preston, I always hated you." Dipper snapped his fingers, finding it far easier to preform magic than before with the rift shattered. Muffled screams could be heard from the previously normal millionaire.

"Creative, kid!" The dream demon laughed. "Shuffling the functions of his face! Classic!" Dipper frowned, however.

"I wanted to turn him inside out."

"Oh, Pine Tree, I knew I liked you!" He turned to the screaming people of Gravity Falls, drinking in their terrified looks. "Welcome, one and all, to Weirdmageddon!"