Ghosts: A Tale of a Career Paramedic.

Rules For Survival

EMS is a tough mistress. Between the long hours and low pay, to the EMS gods reigning a shit storm upon you, longevity is always a question. The average career length for a person in EMS is 4 years. 4 years! My mother has worked for a large chain grocery store for 17 years. My father worked for the same automotive suppky and manufacturing company for 30 years until it closed shop. But only 4 years for EMS. And belive me, it's an accurate statement. I have seen many come and go over the years. All start off looking bright eyed and bushy tailed and end up leaving looking older and tired. It's not surprising either. Would you rather stock shelves at a wholesale goods store for $18 an hour or see dead people for as little as $9 an hour at the company I work for. Well, what about the benifets, those have to be good right? Nope. My insurance is not accepted at most places and my deductible is $5000. So the only way I'm going to the hospital is if I get run over by a car. Certainly you get vacation time I hear you saying. Not really. I earn 2 hours of PTO for every pay period, which is 2 weeks. So in a month I earn 4 hours. Multiply that by 12 I get 48 hours of PTO. So let's think about that. I have to work an entire calender year without taking a single day off to earn 2 days for the following year. Well that's not gonna happen. Life gets in the way, weddings, birthdays, flu, ect. Id say most of my co workers have zero to nill in the bank as far as PTO. Uniforms you ask. I got two pairs of shirts and pants when I started, a fleece and a jacket. I am allowed only one pair of pants a shirt a year for wear an tear. The fleece and jacket Id have to pay for if I ever needed another. At least the vehicles are in good working order. HA! Sadly this is not the case, 250,000 miles is not uncommon for the fleet of elderly trucks. Constantly out of service for various issues. The equipment, that's up to par, right? Depends on what your definition of up to par is, I'll leave that to your imagination. We all know why I do it, I love this job, I love helping people. But I understand why many do not. As of right now, there is a nation wide shortage of Paramedics. People just aren't going to school for it anymore. I remember when I first started, getting a fire gig was next to impossible. 2 spots would open up and thousands would apply. Now... They have several spots open and few that apply. Multiple departments in my area have had to do 2 or more rounds of call backs just to get enough people to interview. A lot of departments are hiring people and then putting them through Paramedic school for free, that's how desperate its become. So the question is; how do you last as a Paramedic? Well... You gotta love it, and I mean really love it. You have to develop some thick skin, like rhino thick. Your back must be as slippery as a freshly caught fish in order to let the bullshit slide right off. If you have those qualities already, I do have 15 rules that I live by as a Paramedic.
1. CYA. (Cover Your Ass)
Now I don't mean make up stuff just to get out of trouble as in rule number 10 (More on that later). What I mean is do your job right that way your ass will always be covered.
2. Never intentionally throw your partner "under the bus". (But always differ back to rule 1)
Look, it's just you and your partner out there. And a great partnership really helps ease the stress of this job, but they are hard to come by. You don't want to be the snitch of the company, because then nobody will work with you. Now if your partner is stealing narcs from the drug box or sexually assualting patients, feel free to rat their ass out, obvisiouly. It's you and your partner, you ride together, you die together.
3. Always bring in your equipment.
I see so many, way to many of my colleagues do just the opposite of this rule. They'll pull up to a house or buiness and might take the cot in only. I made this rule after the first time I got caught with my pants down. I needed something ASAP and it was in my medical bag, which I didn't bring in. You never know what you will face going into a call, no matter how B.S. it may sound.
4. Always do your own assessment.
I'm not saying don't trust your co-workers, all I'm saying is take it at face value. They may have missed something or in most cases, they didn't think it was a big deal and only asked a few things. I have been burned too many times to not do my own assessment.
5. Go when you gotta go. (Bathroom breaks).
I think this rule is pretty cut and dry. There's nothing like thumping on the chest while trying to hold back a turtle head or a bladder ready to explode.
6. Belive nothing that you hear, and only half of what you see.
This rule was given to me by a very wise partner of mine. It is used in conjunction with rule 4. When the dispatch info comes through, again, take it at face value.
7. Don't dip your pen in the company ink.
We're all adults, your allowed to have concentual sex with whomever you choose. I'll just say this, I broke this rule and it did not end well.
8. Don't bring your work home with you.
Just don't. Leave it at the door. If you have a bad and need to talk to your spouse or signifigant other, do so, it helps. What I mean is whatever shit happens at work, leave it there.
9. Always carry a multitool.
Even the cheap ones can come in handy. You never know when you will need a small flat head or phillps screw driver. And a good pair of plyers is always helpful.
10. Lie, deny, and make false accusations.
Not a hard and fast rule, but it's important to note that esspecially in the private world, you are on your own. The company will have no qualms throwing you under the bus and are only loyal to their bottom line. Trust me.
11. Check your ego.
You are not the best Paramedic in the world, you are not without flaws, you will never be. The moment you think you've learned everything is the day you should quit. There is always something new to learn. Quit flying in with your cape.
12. Just because you've been doing something for 30 years, doesn't mean you've been doing it right.
Medicine is a progressive field, EMS is not. It's taken quite some time to get to the point we are at now. A lot of tradition for tradition sake had to be thrown away. Which pissed off a lot of "old timers". "Back in my day... Blah blah blah." Back in your day we didn't have the technology or research avalible we do today. Guess what gramps, your way of doing things was just wrong.
13. Beware the full moon.
I'm not superstitious, I'm not even religious, don't believe in a god. But I swear to goodness, there's something about a full moon that brings out the crazies. It's all anecdotal evidence, nothing based on sciene. Just 13 years of full moons.
14. Never say the Q word.
Shh, we don't speak of it. The EMS gods are vengeful.
And finally, 15. When you're wrong, you're wrong.
Used in conjunction with rule 11. You are not always going to be right. You will be wrong, you will make mistakes. Check your ego and move on.