#5SOS Fam Only!

One Shot Winner [Calum]

BY: PoniesAndHarryStyles

************

"I still remember the look on your face
Lit through the darkness, at 1:58
The words that you whispered for just us to know
You told me you love me, so why did you go away?"

I glanced towards the clock on the nightstand. 1:58AM. Where is he? He said he'll be back after the concert, but I asked Michael and he said it ended 3 hours ago. Suddenly my phone started ringing, and it said "Calum<3" on the screen. I quickly grabbed my phone and answered.
"Calum where are you?! The concert ended ages ago and I'm worried sick!" I said, tears forming in my eyes from relief.
"I'm sorry" he mumbled, "but I'm not coming back".
"Wha-what do you mean you're not coming back?" I asked, shocked.
"I'm coming in an hour to grab my stuff" he said, and hung up.
What happened? A day ago we were so happy together, why is he ending things?
Around 3AM I heard a key in the door, and Calum walked into the bedroom where I sat on the bed, not able to utter a single word. He took a pre-packed suitcase out of the wardrobe, and walked towards me. He looked at me, and tears started streaming down my face.
"Please don't go" I said, my voice hoarse from crying.
"I love you" he whispered, and just like that, he was gone.

"I do recall now the smell of the rain
Fresh on the pavement
I ran off the plane
That July 9th
The beat of your heart jumps through your shirt
I can still feel your arms"

2 weeks. 2 weeks where I went through hell and back. Calling, texting, leaving voicemails. But nothing. I fell back into the memories. That day I surprised him on tour. It was July 9th, and I took a plane to England. It was winter there, and I can still smell the rain on the pavements of London. I remember when I surprised him backstage after the concert, how he held me in his arms. How his heart was racing and it made me smile, because I was the reason. I miss him. I miss him so much it hurts. Every time I stand in front of the mirror, I remember how he used to come from behind and wrap his arms around me.
"You're perfect" he would whisper in my ear, and leave a sweet kiss on my cheek.

"But I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss
Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips"

Another 2 weeks, and my life were crashing down full-speed. I tried reaching Calum, contacting him, but it was impossible. All I could do was sit and stare, wrapped in his jumper, flannel or hoodie, and wonder why he left. Think how can I get him back. Think about my life that are breaking right in front of my eyes. And cry. A lot. It never occurred to me that this thing between Calum and I will end someday. I always thought we were forever. But now, every night I fall asleep on the floor while whispering his name into the empty house.

"I do remember the swing of your step
The life of the party, you're showing off again
And I roll my eyes and then you pull me in
I'm not much for dancing but for you I did"

I remembered how every time there was a party or a social gathering Calum would take me with him. He always liked partying and going out. He is a very social guy, a people's person. He'd go off and tell jokes and funny stories while everyone were gathered around him. Then, he'd pull me into his arms in the middle of the little circle that would always form around him, and start telling people I'm his girlfriend and the best thing that's ever happened to him. I'd roll my eyes and blush furiously, burying my head in his chest while he'd laugh at my embarrassment, finding it "cute", as he said. He'd always go dancing if there's music. I don't like dancing, but somehow Calum always managed to make me dance with him. We would twirl around like silly little kids and laugh the entire time while people stared, but we didn't care. We were too in love. Were.

"Because I love your handshake, meeting my father
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets
How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something
There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions"

About a month after we made it official, Calum met my parents. He was so nervous he couldn't stop shaking. When we entered my parents' house, I took ahold of Calum's hand and gently caressed it in circles, trying to calm him down. When my dad came, Calum turned completely white while shaking my father's hand firmly, trying not to show how scared he is. When my mum showed us their house after the renovation, Calum just stuck his hands in his pockets and followed us nervously, looking like the cutest lost puppy in the whole world. I thought it was cute, how nervous he was meeting my parents. For days after I'd remind him of how nervous he was and he'd just shush me by planting a sweet kiss on my lips. I miss those kisses. I miss those lips. I miss him.

"And I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss
Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips"

Today, a month and half after the breakup, I found out why Calum left. Luke told me actually. He told me Calum doesn't feel the same about me anymore. He lost all of the love he had for me. That hurt, knowing the one you love and once loved you, doesn't anymore. I tried forgetting him, but it still didn't stop me from wearing Calum's few shirts and hoodies that were left in the house, sitting on the floor and crying. How do I make him love me again? How do I make him miss me? I don't know. I'll just keep calling his name, and hoping for an answer I know will never come.

"So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe
And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are"

I still see Calum. Not in real life of course, but through magazines and social media. The band gets bigger and bigger each day, and I feel proud. Calum got himself a new girl. The other guys asked me how I feel about it, and I told them I'm hurt but happy for him. But the truth is, I'm broken. I'm broken to the point where I can't be fixed. I watch calum through pictures, torturing myself day after day. I can almost feel him forgetting me, moving on and building a new life - something I'll never be able to do. To be honest, I only kept contact with Luke, Michael and Ash just to ask them how he is. Just for them to tell me everything new in his life. Just to watch him from afar while he's in a new place. I hope it's a nice place, I'd hate to see him sad or suffering, even after all the pain he caused me.

"And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you you wish you had stayed
You can plan for a change in weather and time
But I never planned on .you changing your mind"

I left the house today. I locked everything and got in my car, and just drove. For hours and hours I drove, the sun shining in the sky and the birds chirping happily. A complete opposite to what I felt inside. Finally, I stopped the car, I got to the location I was searching for. The place Calum and I first kissed - a high cliff looking out into the ocean, covered with patches of grass and flowers. Heaven on earth. By this point, I knew this was a lost battle. Calum will never come back, never be with me. Never love me like he used to. Hell, I don't even know if I cross his mind sometimes. I hope I do, but I know I don't. I took a step closer to the edge, feeling the warm breeze from the ocean. I looked out to the horizon. An endless world, yet so many things end in it. Love, life, trust, loyalty, people. Ending things in an unending world seems like the right thing to do.

"So I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss
Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips"

I decided to let out all of the anger and fear that I kept inside for the past two months. "I hate you!" I screamed to no one in particular. No, actually - I do have someone on my mind. "I hate you God!" I screamed, "I hate how you made us humans your little dolls! How you play with our emotions, like it will never hurt us! I hate how made me fall in love, and then crash! I hate you! And I hate Calum Hood too!" I shouted, "Heard that Calum?! I fucking hate you! I hate your smooth hair! I hate your amazing lips! I hate your perfect jawline! I hate your mesmerising eyes! I hate your gentle hands! I hate your cute nose! I hate your big heart! I hate your angelic voice! I hate how every time you look at me I feel like I turn into jelly, but every time I look at you you probably feel nothing! I hate the way I feel! I hate it!".
I couldn't take it anymore. I was destroyed, violated, crushed inside. I was lost, and I don't have a chance of ever being found. "Maybe I should just end it, you know?" I now talked to the ocean, where big, threatening waves started to form and hit the rocks at the bottom of the cliff, "you know why? 'Cause goddammit, we're all just suicidal kids trying to save each other. We're all just lost souls that are lost together. Even though we're together, we're still lost. We're still gone. We're still broken. All of us are. The thing is, I just realised it. I was too stupid to see it before, even though I had all of the possible warning signs in my way. I wonder if everybody know it, but maybe not because if someone does know it they're like me - escaping it forever". I took a long breath, and said the last sentence I'll ever say - "goodbye Calum. I love you". A single tear streamed down my cheek as I took the last step to a safe haven, away from here.

"Just like our last kiss
Forever the name on my lips
Forever the name on my lips
Just like our last..."

***********
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!!!!! ITS SO WELL WRITTEN!!!

Comment Something Nice ;)

Ps: The Song is "Last Kiss" by Taylor Swift....just incase you wanna know :)