Safe and Sound

January

Sehun has his hands clutched tightly around the mug of honey ginger tea, letting the warmth of the beverage seep into his colder skin. Outside, the snow continues to blanket Seoul with white. Sehun buries himself a little more into the armchair and pulls the blanket a little closer to cover his toes.

Jongin is furiously typing across from him, eyes flitting back and forth along his screen to skim over his work. His eyebrows are furrowed, teeth poking out and latching onto his lower lip. Everything about him screams frustration, yet Sehun just sits and stares at his best friend work on the lab report that Jongin had conveniently forgot about until an hour ago and was, unfortunately, due tomorrow.

Sehun should be upset. Jongin's lack of preparation had canceled their movie night, and Sehun was looking forward to it all week. But one look at Jongin's sad puppy eyes and earnest apologies – not to mention the promise of a coffee after tomorrow's chemistry class – and Sehun had acquiesced. It's just that without the distraction of the movie, Sehun's mind wanders into dark waters.

The air is thick with a sort of awkwardness in which Jongin knows Sehun is upset but won't admit it, and the latter is sort-of-kind-of glaring at him with such intensity that Jongin feels like his skin is going to set on fire.

So he lets out a cough and glances up at Sehun, who doesn't break eye contact. "Are you still mad at me?" he murmurs. Jongin's brain tosses out all the chemistry knowledge he has and focuses his entire being on his best friend. "You can tell me honestly, and I'll listen to you. I know I'm being a dick right now." Jongin knows that Sehun is the type to hold a grudge and not let go until he milks out all he can from the guilty party, who usually happens to be Jongin. It's a bad trait because it always ends up an argument and Sehun almost always cries. But because he's Sehun's best friend, and because of their six years of unbreakable friendship, Jongin takes it upon himself to be the bigger person and allow Sehun to wallow in self-pity but never lets him drown himself in his insecurities. Especially today.

Sehun blinks slowly – almost comically – and lets out a small sigh. He finally looks away, down at his tea. His tongue darts out to wet his lips. "No." The two lettered word is short and simple, and Jongin thinks that maybe he should take it as it is this once, but at the same time, he knows it's going to come back and bite him in the ass later on when Sehun bursts out in tears at how Jongin doesn't care.

Sehun is a little broken, though he chooses not to admit it. He takes every word and holds it close, even if the shards rip him up and tear him apart. It's what Sehun so dependent, so sensitive.

Jongin sighs. He saves his work and closes his laptop lid. Sehun still refuses to meet his eyes. "Sehunah," he dares.

Sehun jerks, almost flinches, and he sets down his mug on the coffee table and disappears under the blanket.

There it is: the first sniffle.

Jongin curses himself. He can't believe today turned out like this. He abandons his laptop and crosses the small gap and settles himself into the even smaller space between Sehun and the rest of the armchair. Sehun lets out a small sound and another sniffle. Jongin wraps his arms around the lump and Sehun lets out a choked sob. Jongin holds back his own tears as he remembers, brain finally making the connection and reminding him why today was so important.

Instead of typing, the apartment is filled with the sounds of Sehun's reoccurring heartbreak. In that haze, Sehun whimpers out, "I miss him," and Jongin also follows Sehun into dark waters, hoping to bring him back to the shore, but losing him to the sheer emptiness of the vast ocean.

Sehun feels slightly better the next day when he wakes up. His eyes are swollen and tender from the tears he shed and his entire body aches to be held. He spots Jongin still snoring from the bed across from him. A glance at the clock reassures him that there is still time before chemistry, exactly two hours in fact.

At six a.m., Sehun drags himself out of bed to open up Jongin's laptop and find the unfinished lab report.

When Jongin jerks awake at seven thirty, he launches himself out of bed and nearly runs over Sehun who is coming back into their bedroom with a bag of frozen strawberries on his left eye and a stack of papers in the other.

"I finished your report," Sehun says in a small voice. He's already dressed for class, a thick jacket over a long-sleeved shirt that hung off his frame and black joggers that Jongin suspects are actually his. Sehun nudges Jongin's side and shoves the papers into his chest. "You owe me two coffees."

Jongin stares incredulously at his finished lab report and chokes a little on air. "What? How?" he sputters.

Sehun shrugs from where he's slipping on his Vans, looking weary as he switches the bag from his left to his right eye. "I did that lab too. And unlike you, I finished it a week ago, Jongin." Despite the harsh words, Sehun doesn't mean any of it. It's meant to tease and Jongin knows that better than anyone.

Jongin grins and waves his report around. "I'll give you three coffees Sehunnie!" He feels butterflies tickle his insides when Sehun gives him a small smile and a "call," as a reply.

With all the heavy baggage that comes with being Sehun's best friend, Jongin realizes that it's the selflessness that Sehun exhibits that makes Jongin's stares a little too intense, touches linger a little too long, and words that mean a little too much. He supposes that's why he's stuck around for six years beside Sehun when everyone seems to take one step into the door and back out again.