Perhaps he wants to end it all.
What was the use? It's the same goddamn routine all the time, and he's tired of it.
He'll wake up with panic attacks, flashbacks of what had happened fresh on his mind. He'll feel like death, he'll go to his psychologist, he'll take his pills, he'll feel nothing, just the same like before.
Then it's like that the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that.
Nothing eventful.
Maybe there are times that when he sleeps, he never wants to wake up again.
And so, he does what he does.
He lets himself be swallowed by that darkness, and his sick and sweet laugh is the last thing he hears.
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