Just friends, we swear

Sorry, it won't work.

[Hey guys I dare you to play pills [explicit] by Joji on loop while reading this, it'll be fun I promise]
"Shayne what's wrong?" You asked, standing concerned outside of your door as Shayne stood in front of you, anxiety gripping your heart and chest as he looked down and didn't speak for a bit.
"It's not necessarily what's wrong..." He started "Look, I think it's cool that you and Damien are becoming really close friends and all... but I'm going to be honest and try to be mature, I'm a little jealous." He finished and looked back up.
Of course he'd be jealous, relief flooded through you, he was Damien's best friend, and you had been spending time with his best friend way too much.
" Oh I'm so sorry Shayne! You're right! Look Damien's your best friend and I have been hanging out with him a lo-" Shayne cut you off.
"I wasn't jelous about you hanging out with Damien, I was jelous of him hanging out with you, and I kind of feel bad about it so I just wanted to tell you."
You looked down, some shame flooding through you... you had just kissed the man's best friend.
"(y/n)" he said painfully " I like you, a lot. " He ran his hand through his hair, a nervous habit.
" God I sound like a middle schooler... " he trailed off, waiting for an answer but when you didn't give one he continued, stumbling on his words.
"Look, okay - (y/n) you're not... obliged? You don't have to uh... like me back. That's fine, you can like whoever I just - wanted to let you know in case you liked me... back?" His last word sounded like a question and it crushed you, it was hopeful.
"Shayne..." you said, hesitantly "I'm sorry, it won't work." You blinked, he sighed and just nodded.
"Yeah that's... that's okay." He answered, you felt confliction in you, and guilt. Tears threatened to rise into your eyes. You hated to see your friend like this.
"This information won't, change us, right?" He asked, his voice no longer showing any hint of hope... any hint of happy.
"It won't." You replied, giving a low sad chuckle. You rubbed your eyes with your fingers, trying not to cry.
"I should probably go." He said, a statement that cut your stomach and made your heart feel heavy. Your brain was on overdrive, and yet so completely... silent... numb.
"You probably should." You answered, your voice barely a whisper, raspy and raw like your emotions.
Shayne turned, and a tear rolled down your cheek, why was everything so complicated?
Why were you standing here now, torn between two boys who loved each other like brothers.
Why was it you?
You wanted to lay down in bed and cry, maybe even take a shower and let the water calm your mind...
More than anything you wished that shayne hadn't come to your door.
Was fate real? You wondered in that moment, was God? You shook the relegious thoughts from your mind but silently cursed whoever loved to torment you, and at the same time begging them to send you a solution...
Maybe you'd end up regretting it, you thought ruefully, but you didn't care. The raw guilt of kissing the man who just confessed his love for you's best friend ate at your heart and clawed at your mind, twisting your emotions into oceans of uncertainty and doubt. Did you like Shayne too? Or perhaps it was some twisted placebo effect, after all... Damien's lips felt so perfect on yours a moment before.
You saw Shayne's car pull out of your drive way, you fumbled to grasp the door handle behind you, entering your house backwards.
That was how everything felt, backwards. Wrong, confusing, twisting turning, looping, hurting. You wanted to scream, yell, curse the heavens and all the stars, curse Shayne's name, but you just sunk to the floor as a silent sob racked your body.
Why did he hurt you like this?
Damien got up from the couch "(y/n)? what's wrong?" he called, sounding overly concerned.
You just sat there and shook your head "I'm... confused." you whispered as he came closer.
He wrapped his arms around you.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because Shayne just said that he liked me, and it hurt me." You said, turning to Damien.
"(y/n)..." he whispered your name, so gently... as if he was afraid your name would break as soon as it dropped out of his lovely mouth.
"It's okay to be confused after that... but why are you confused?" He asked.
You didn't want to hurt Damien, and as you looked at him you realized that you were right earlier, you didn't like Shayne like you liked Damien, Shayne was a friend... and a good one at that, but a friend. It hurt because you knew it hurt him, not because you had feelings for him... but because you had genuine feelings for Damien.
"Did you know?" You asked realizing they were best friends.
Damien looked away, guiltily. Answering your question silently.
You hugged him, burying your face in his chest "Why did you do it then?" you asked, hurt and now even more confused.
"Because I couldn't help it." He answered, voice cracking.
You wiped the tears from your eyes and he hugged you back.
You let go.
"Yet you knew... that your best friend... your brother," you corrected, "liked me?" you asked, Did Damien like you to the point he would potentially ruin his friendship with Shayne. Two days previous he had posted an old photo of him and Shayne on a Rollercoaster... the caption read "Happy birthday to my bestest bruh...".
And now you had not only hurt Shayne, but every word you spoke, every doubt in Damien's mind you said allowed, had hurt him.
"Yes... and in the beginning it stopped me but... I want to be happy, I want you to be happy... No..." he spoke slowly "I want to be happy with you, maybe. No I definitely do, but I also don't want to hurt Shayne (y/n)." you heard the confliction in his voice, swirling around his brain like a nasty storm. He buried his head in his hands.
"Then... Damien Haas will you be my secret boyfriend?" You whispered quietly, you couldn't hurt him anymore... And you couldn't let him hurt Shayne. But maybe this was a way for you all to be happy.
Maybe...
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Hit y'all with that double chapter ha, don't say I don't care... 💖 But this chapter is evil:

and my boyfriend supports me so :) y'all are gonna suffer through it.
Love you all!
How was this chapter?
Are you sad?
Did you listen to the song?
Anything I can improve?
How was your day?

See you in the next chapter 😈