Scarred Knees

two.

this story is about a girl that lets the insecurities get the most of her but shes not the only one who feels the same way about an insecurity.

[Serena]

                        

The sun shone through the square windows in the room I rested in. It seemed to glow with an aurora of heat. Studying the features of nature kind of wasn't my thing, although the sun looked so happy as it danced above the clouds. My eyes flickered to the window next to the previous. That window was full of dark gray clouds with the sun seeming as if it has went away and didn't feel like returning.

                        I felt bad for the sun. The dark clouds were bullies, opposing to them were the paper white fluffy and friendly clouds to protect the sun. They comforted him and made him feel like he did previously, which was happy without a care in the world.

                        I sat up slowly, truly feeling pity in the depths of my stomach that stuck out from the fat that clung to my body. I checked my surroundings, seeing as I exactly did the day before. My bland washed out sheets, flat pillow that my head rested on a moment ago and my skimpy twin bed that I slept on every night.

                        Unlike anyone in my school, I was pretty poor. My family lived off of food stamp money of about 200 dollars a month for my family. I have four other siblings who are all girls and a mother. My father left my mom when I was very young and there was only the three of us. I missed the days where I didn’t have to take care of my family as the eldest sibling. I'm not complaining, it’s just a very sad thing to think about and that is one of the many reasons people don’t know about my struggle to live and be well fed.

                        After pulling my flats that were two sizes smaller than my original foot size on, I was complete on getting ready. I didn't have many clothes to choose from. I could only wish one day that I would have a closet of clothes to choose from.

                        Closing the door to my family's one bedroom apartment that we all lived in, I made my way down the stairs of the apartment building and towards the path to my high school.

                        The sun was radiating a dreadful heat. My baggy jeans stuck to my legs as I continued to walk through the deadly heat. I only wore jeans for one reason and that was to hide my scarred knees. They were pretty messed up after I've fallen on them a few times and scraped them.

                        I prefer not to show them off or let anyone from my school catch a glimpse of them to avoid only one simple thing: being judged by others. It was my biggest phobia of all. I didn't like all attention to be focused on me because I was scared of not meeting those people’s expectations.

                        After pushing through the doors of the school and many people who were crowded in the halls talking about all the juicy gossip, I made my way to the cafeteria to relax and unwind.

                        I sat at the usual seat which was placed in the right corner of the cafeteria, which was away from everything. I just wish I had a friend to talk to like everyone else did really. The air seemed to be always be stiff around me for an unknown reason really.

                        Pushing the few dark brown strands of hair behind my ear, I heard the main entrance doors open and close lightly, following by heavy footsteps. My gaze that was originally on my hands that fiddled with the fingers were now on the person who was making their way through the breakfast line, picking up a hot chocolate, paying and making his way back around out of the cafeteria.

                        He had light brown hair that was placed in the style of a buzz cut that seemed to grow out a little; he was also wearing a black Nike hoodie along with black jeans. He seemed reserved in a way.

                        Maybe he just likes to keep to himself and just shut people out. Yeah, I think that's the case. I could relate to him somehow. We seemed familiar in a way so I decided I wanted to get to know him better. I was too nervous to physically talk to him or confront him with millions of questions, so I figured it would be better for me to stay reserved like he was for a while.

(edited)