Feelings

Weak and Strong

Impotent, the feeling of helplessness, when you just hit rock bottom and you know you can't do anything. When your throat constricts, your brain numbs and your own heartbeat tires you out. When nothing makes sense and you want to cry, scream and complain about how it's not fair but you know it won't work. That's how Yoongi felt at the moment.

            It was unfair, one moment his life was finally under his control and the next moment it comes crashing down. How long should he endure this for? He was feeling angry, sad, frustrated, hopeless and all the negative feels at once. His eyes were open yet everything was dark, his breathing was irregular and shallow. In his state of frozen hell, he felt two warm hands place themselves on either sides of his chest.

"Hyung? Are you okay? Who is he?" Jimin asked at once. Seeing Yoongi that way scared him. Yoongi was his sense of security and Jimin always leaned on to his support but seeing Yoongi's calm demeanor breaking he couldn't help but feel insecure and sad.

    "Min Yoongi, you are coming with me" the hoarse voice of Yoongi's step dad snapped both the guys from their thoughts.

         Yoongi wanted to protest, he wanted to fight back but no words were coming out of his mouth. He turned towards his step dad and started to walk up to him but Jimin had other plans for him. The way Yoongi had reacted to the man's presence, he knew that the man was bad news. He gripped Yoongi's wrist tightly and pulled the older towards him.

          "No, he isn't coming with you. Who are you? You can't go around controlling him. Hyung, why aren't you saying anything?" Jimin was yelling now. He was confused and was beginning to feel really frustrated.

           "Didn't this scumbag tell you anything?" Yoongi's step dad chuckled humorlessly. "I am Dae-hyun, his step dad. And you are? His whore?"

Jimin was taken aback. He didn't know that Yoongi had a step dad. He slowly felt guilt seeping onto him. He didn't know anything about Yoongi at all, he had never been bothered to ask. It had always been about Jimin. Jimin this, Jimin that. He felt his heart tear up at his selfishness. He never gave a single thought about how Yoongi's personal life might be.

Both Jimin and Yoongi were seated in a roller coaster of emotions.

      Upon hearing his step dad's words, Yoongi's helplessness was now replaced with unfathomable anger. No one, fucking, no one had the right to talk trash to Jimin.

"Shut up" Yoongi growled. " You're not gonna talk to Jimin like that. This is between you and me, don't drag him"

"You sure are a talk, aren't you? Need I remind you about the control I have over you? All those hideous scars on you body, you want a new one?"

Yoongi gritted his teeth. Jimin was shaking from the anger that was bubbling inside him.

"Hyung won't come. You may be his step dad but you don't fucking own him. I will call the police and I am serious"

Dae-hyun looked at Jimin with a gaze full of humor.
"You think you can stop me?"

"How did you even find me?" Yoongi asked.

"I have been looking for your troublesome ass everywhere. It was sheer luck that I found you here tonight, fucking around."

"I left, fuck off. I'm not returning. Stay the fuck away from my life."

"I am not here to take you back, the farther you stay away from me, the better. It's your fucking mother, she's in hospital, start walking"

"What the-"

Now Yoongi was having an internal conflict. Was it perhaps just a trap? But what if his mother really was hospitalized? Should he be bothered? She never cared about him, so should he care?"

"Why, what happened? Why must I come?"

"Why would I know? Your mother is just as half assed as you. There she is dying but the bitch says that she wants to see her son. That too a son like you! Should have murdered you both when I had the fucking chance"

Yoongi gritted his teeth, if possible even harder. His knuckles had turned white from balling them. He breathed in slowly,

"Why? I asked what the fuck happened"

"Lung cancer, all those years of smoking caught up to that bitch"

"Shut up"

"Watch your tone, bastard. Start walking"

Yoongi glared at his step dad and turned towards a very confused Jimin, his gaze softening really quickly.

"Minnie, you go back to our flat, I'll-"

"No hyung, I'm coming with you. You will need support-"

"Jimin-"

"Don't interrupt me, please hyung. This could be a trap for all we know. I'm not letting you go back there all on your own. You don't have a say in this. It's my decision. Now let's go"

"Jimin-"

"Hyung, we don't have time!" Jimin snapped. He grabbed Yoongi's hand and walked towards Dae-hyun. "Let's go then"

With that, the three of them started walking. Dae-hyun leading the way while Jimin and Yoongi kept their pace behind him. Their fingers were entwined and both of them were leaning into each other's warmth for support. However, a mist of awkwardness had engulfed the both of them.

"Hyung, I'm so sorry, I never bothered to ask anything about your life, I'm so selfish. " Jimin blurted out with eyes full of tears. His guilt was eating him alive.

"Jiminnie, don't blame yourself. It's just that I thought this was a new start for me, I thought that all my fucked up issues were no longer a part of me. I never thought this would happen, hence I never talked about it. Don't think it's your fault, okay?" Yoongi replied while wiping the tears from Jimin's cheeks.

Jimin remained silent. No matter what Yoongi said, he couldn't help but feel guilty.

They reached in front of he hospital and both the guys were surprised to find out that it wasn't a trap.

"Room 327, you both get your asses in there, I'll go have cigarette break. I can't stand both you and your mother in the same room." With that Dae-hyun walked away.

"Your step dad is an asshat" Jimin said with a grumpy face. Yoongi couldn't help but chuckle at his small pout which made Jimin go as red as a tomato.

"Hyung, promise me you will tell me everything properly once we get home"

Yoongi pulled Jimin closer to him, pecking the younger's forehead and looking at him with all the love he could muster, he replied softly,

"I promise."

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Sorry for taking such a long time to update.

Thanks for reaading!!!!♥♥♥