Chasing a Broken Butterfly

Chapter 14:

We end up walking around the whole mall, mindlessly window shopping with the occasional outburst of 'that's really cool' or 'who would ever want that?'. But a majority of the time is spent in silence, and I like it that way. I like to let my mind wander. It helps me to sort things out in the most disorganized way possible. Almost like how someone would take a room apart before you can put it back together better than it was before. Maybe it doesn't necessarily make sense, but to me it does.

"Hey Mikey?" The question blurts out before I can even think of a solid way to ask what I'm about to ask.

"Yeah?"

"What should I do? This isn't some child's play anymore. Not after the fact that they brought Lacey into this. Whatever this is..." I notice I'm making exaggerated hand gestures and pull my arms back and place my hands in my pockets. "Are you going to tell my mom?" I continue, "I mean, I can understand why you'd tell her, but please don't tell her. I know it sounds insane, but I can handle this. it's probably just some weird stalker slash admirer from school. You know?" I know I'm babbling, but I can't seem to shake the feeling of anxiety that rises within me whenever I think of what's happening. I'm trying to come out sounding strong, but my voice fails to do just that...

I'm staring at the floor, waiting for him to start speaking so I can look up at him and read his lips. I don't hear anything so I turn my head to face him.

"Well..." he finally starts, "I know that you want to keep this from your mom desperately. Especially considering that she's finally recovering from what happened with your dad, but I think..." He stops mid sentence and looks behind him. I follow his attention and my eyes land on Kylie and Nathan. He was interrupted by the looks of it. With Kylie there, all I really want to do is leave, but one of them must've called one of us, because Mikey stops to wait for them to catch up.

"Hey Mikey what's up?" Nathan nods at him in acknowledgement before giving me a small smile.

My heart lurches at his smile. I don't like this feeling. It's pointless to gain any feelings for him and I know it...but he's so beautiful...

"We're still on for today, right?" Mikey interrupts any daydreams about Nathan that could've happened. Damn you mikey, daydreams are all I have at this point.

Kylie answers for him, "Yes. The Diner. At four. Better not be late." Maybe it's just me but I swear it seemed like she infused every word with as much venom as she possibly could.

Nathan looks down at her with a warning stare. He even looks handsome wearing a frown on his face, but I like it better with a smile. He doesn't smile very often, I just now noticed that... I wonder why.

Kylie catches his expression and she immediately backtracks. "I mean...we're excited. To have you with us. It'll be fun!" She claps her hand together and gives us her most dazzling smile. But any person in their right mind can still see right through that fake smile. She's a horrible actress.

I'm trying really hard not to laugh, because it was literally like watching a show. You could instantly see the mask she put on for Nathan. I don't know what he sees in her, but I guess he must be good for her because she would've never even once thought about throwing me the slightest of a smile before. I wonder what it's like...to have someone you truly are head over heels for. Someone who brings out the best in you. For a slight moment, honestly only a fraction of a moment, I'm jealous of Kylie. She's one of the most horrible people I know, but she seems to really be trying hard for Nathan, which is something she never does. It must be really nice...

I let out a sigh before I can stop it. I look up and see all three of them staring at me.

Dammit.

I look at Mikey to try to read his facial expression. He looks worried for me, which means that they were trying to talk to me but I was in my own little world and didn't respond. Not to mention I obviously didn't hear them.

"Are your ears functioning today, Elle?" Kylie is making fun of me and she knows it. She raises her left eyebrow and I see her lips tug upward into a smug smile.

I feel my face getting hot and my body starts to feel itchy and slightly moist from perspiration. This is how I get when I'm embarrassed. I hate it. my thoughts get all jumbled and I'm left speechless. Not that I spoke much in front of them anyway, but it would be nice to have a comeback ready to fire back when I need it.

"Shut up, Kylie" I look at Mikey to thank him with my eyes, but notice Kylie is pouting at Nathan. It must've been Nathan who told her to shut up, because if it were Mikey, she would've clawed her hands in his eyes already.

"I was only teasing her. You know I don't mean it," Kylie coos. "Come on, why don't we go into Victoria's Secret before it's too late? You can help me look for the perfect set". She giggles and tugs at his arm playfully a couple times before Nathan rolls his eyes and gives in.

"Fine, but you better not be taking long" he finally says. "See you two later".

Seeing them two walk away together does something to me that I've never experienced. It makes my chest hurt with longing and it makes me wish that I were normal...because normal people experience relationships...normal people talk and shoot comebacks like they have a never ending basket filled with them...but I don't. because I'm not normal...

"Elle?" I turn my attention back to Mikey.

"Yeah?" my voice comes out soft...i really wish it didn't.

" I said it was weird... the way Kylie was acting, I mean. Wasn't it?" I look up at him and nod.

"Yeah...yeah it was..." I respond. "How long have they been dating?" the question is out my mouth before I can even think about it.

"Ummm...i'm not sure. they've known each other since summer...thats when he moved here. Couple of months maybe?"

Ouch...for awhile then...i don't know why that gets to me.

"Oh." Is all I say.

"I think it's time we get back to the car. Lacey is probably going to wake up soon." Mikey grabs my hand and pulls me toward the exits down the hall.

I'd almost forgotten about Lacey...what kind of owner forgets about their dog? Especially ones in the car? Horrible ones, that's who. Here I am getting caught up in wondering why I don't have a love life and moping over the fact that I will never get Nathan's attention when really I need to be focusing on the bigger picture at hand. The fact that my dog had gotten drugged this morning and stuffed into the recycling bin. The fact that a stranger has been entering my house somehow and messing with me. When did my life get so complicated?