Switched?!

Chapter 16

Keith's POV

How could he POSSIBLY feel unwanted? I mean, look at him. Lance is perfect. In looks, humor, personality, intelligence, and everything important. Everyone here admires him and his confidence. He always acts so secure and casual around the others, it's nearly impossible to believe he hates himself. But, I guess we all have our dark secrets, huh?

Lance has mentioned that feeling of worthlessness before, but only a few times. I used to think it was only because things weren't going his way in the castle or in the battlefield. But, now it seems like it's his constant state of mind. Does he seriously feel like nothing all the time?!

Lance is the only person I've ever felt this way about. Exception of meaningless crushes in grade school, but I think those were all fantasies. Lance and I could have something real...but I couldn't ever say that out loud. I want to be with him so badly that it kills me inside just thinking about it, but it wouldn't be good for our team. We have responsibilities. I can't sit around falling in love with someone that I could lose in any instant. I guess I feel that way about everyone in my life.

My parents. My foster parents. Shiro, numerous times. They've all left me or deserted me or been taken away. And the pain from all of that has hardened me and made me realize that if I just don't care that much about anyone or anything...maybe I won't be so vulnerable anymore.

God.

I'm pushing people away.

I'm the reason I feel so alone.

I have to fix this.

Pidge's POV

I heard sobbing coming from Lance's room and I figured he could use company. Nobody deserves to go through hard times alone.

"Lance, are you okay? Sorry, I know you aren't okay. UGH, I'm really bad at this. Um, do you need anything? That's what I meant to say..." I stuttered, realizing how difficult it is to comfort people.

"N-no. I'll be fine. I just need to let all this out. Could you sit and listen to me for a minute? I promise it'll be quick..." Lance sniffled, his eyes bloodshot from tears.

"Sure. Anything I can do to help." I smiled, sitting down beside him on the floor.

"It's Keith. Or it's me. I'm not sure which. I just feel like he doesn't feel the same way, or if he does that he won't ever admit it. And that kind of connected to some internal problems I've been battling out here in space..." Lance said, wiping his tears on his sleeves.

"Go on." I whispered, placing my hand on his shoulder. People do this, right?!

"Well...without my family here...my real family. I just feel insignificant. I don't feel like you guys need me on the team...like I'm the stupid seventh wheel. I'm not a leader, or a fighter, or smart, or kind. I'm not brave or good looking or goofy. I'm just fake. Everything I do is a show. Keith went ahead and pointed out that he thinks even how I feel is an act. So how are people supposed to see who I am, if they think that every single thing I do is for attention?" Lance whimpered, tears flowing down his cheeks again.

Oh god. This is gonna be harder than I thought.

Allura's POV

Shiro stresses me OUT. He always feels responsible for every issue in the castle. Like managing our team is his job. But, he doesn't need to manage every aspect of our lives. I believe Lance and Keith can work out their differences on their own, they just need to know that the rest of us will support any decision that they make. But it should be THEIR decision. Not Shiro's.

Yes, them keeping such a monumental secret from the team was wrong. But, it didn't deserve the reaction Shiro is giving it. He just needs to calm down and relax before he decides to punish our red and blue paladins.

"Shiro, darling. It wasn't that big of a deal. They were frightened and didn't want to worry the team. They felt that it was their responsibility to take care of the situation themselves." I pleaded, running my fingers through the white tips of his hair.

"No. What they did deserves punishment, Allura. They deliberately lied to the team and kept a harmful secret from us. And it took Lance's near death experience for Pidge to finally tell us what happened!" Shiro slammed his fist down on his knee.

"Hush, why don't you try and take a nap before dinner? All this stress is going to turn the rest of your hair white!" I giggled, wrapping a blanket around his shoulders. I planted a kiss on his forehead and walked out of the room, shutting the door softly behind me.