Monsters

Mermaids and fairies,
Unicorns and banshees,
These are the made up creatures
The ones we spend years
Looking for as kids.

We think they dance around in caves,
Swim in the waves,
And play in the trees.
But these creatures are like us.
We're the ones you don't see.

The monsters that hide under your bed
That find their way into your head
The ones that no parent
Can drive away.

The ones that are constantly made out to be
Smaller than the horror they are
Because you can't see
Them.

The ones that scare us so much
We pretend they aren't there and as such
We come to believe we're weak.

So we don't speak.

The monsters contort our face
Into a disgrace
Of a smile.

So plastic and fake
We can't believe they make
You fall for them.

But we won't speak.

When we're called "quiet"
We laugh and deny it
We say those two words,
That one lie
"I'm fine".

And you believe it
Because the monsters won't let you see it.

They have us on their strings
Tying us down to fears of things
That sound stupid and are
But we take it so far
And they won't let us go.
Like marionettes
Held on by threats
Of "what if"

Too many to name
Those questions prey us like game
Stuck in a trap and draining our life force
Until we scream til we're hoarse
But the only sound we make is
"I'm fine."

Because what do you say
When those monsters may
Decide to strike
At any moment like
In a classroom.

So we hide in our smile
Meanwhile
We cry and shout
"Someone get me out
Of this head
I can't share it with this dread
And fear
of a monster"

But at night
When people sleep tight
Or check for monsters under the bed,
We crawl into our head
And try to fight.

But they're so strong
Which seems wrong
Because they're nothing but
Things of our minds that cut
Into control and we can't get them out
And the only solution makes them spout
From our wrists and our legs
As red dregs
Of monsters in the Hell
Of an empty shell.

And we wear long sleeves
So no one believes
That our monsters exist
Because that would be weaker
And we'd be an attention seeker
Or we'd have to answer
"Are you ok?"
When "no" is the wrong thing to say
And the monsters have to have their way.

We're sorry we're no fun at parties.
We're sorry we're the first who leaves.
We're sorry we keep avoiding hang outs
But it's because we doubt
We can make it through without crying
Or make fools of ourselves when we're trying
To be what everyone wants us to be.

When we're trying to be normal.