Children {s.m}

5: Less than 48 hours (II)

You stared at your hands on your lap as if there was an invisible pattern printed across the back of your hand. You listened to your children's giggles coming from the backseats. Shawn stole a few worried glances at you every now and then, unsure what to say to comfort you. A moment later, his foot pressed down on the brake as he stopped for a red light.

"Y/N?" Shawn pressed his palm on top of yours; his eyes twinkled with concern.

Shawn swallowed back the question "What's wrong?" because he knows what's troubling you. You raised your head and forced a smile to reassure him. Unconvinced, Shawn took one of his hands off the steering wheel and ran his thumb across your bottom lip. You could feel tears pricked your eyes as Shawn's thumb trailed up to your left cheekbone. You didn't know how long had passed until the both of you heard a startling honk behind you. Shawn put his hand back on the steering wheel and went back to driving. You leaned your head against the glass of the car window and blinked back your tears.

______________

"Y/N," Shawn called as the both of you walked into your bedroom later that day.

"We have to talk," Shawn said softly, closing the door behind him.

You lied down on the bed and stared at the white ceiling above you, desperately trying to fulfill that emptiness within you after Shawn made his announcement of going on tour.

"Y/N," Shawn groaned as he tried to pull you off the bed.

You allowed yourself to be dragged up and took a seat next to him at the edge of the bed.

"Shawn, there's nothing to talk about. You're only going on tour. It's not like you're going away forever. I'm perfectly fine right now," you threw in that last statement to emphasize your point, but it only sounded bitter.

"Y/N, to the hell with 'I'm fine'! You're not feeling fine! Will it kill you to admit that you're upset about this?" Shawn gripped both of your shoulders as he shouted out of frustration.

For a second you stared at him blankly, stunned.

"I am upset, So what? What could I do about it?" You said stiffly.

He was silent, only staring at you with his fierce brown eyes, which you avoided at the verge of tears. You hate to pick an argument with him, especially when you realize the fact that he was going to leave in two days. You opened your mouth to apologize but closed it when he pulled you into a sudden hug.

"Y/N, look, I'm sorry," Shawn said, taking the words that once formed at the tip of your tongue.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," he added as he buried his face into your hair, allowing the familiar scent to fill up his nostrils.

"I-" you trailed off as you attempt to search for something to say, but you don't know where you should begin with.

He pulled away, his chocolate brown eyes staring right into yours. You edged closer to him and rested your head upon his shoulder. Somehow, you didn't even notice when tears started to trickle down your cheeks. Shawn looked alarmed when he realized that you were crying. Quickly, he pulled you right back into his arms.

"Y/N," Shawn patted your back and stroke your hair gently in a comforting way.

"Shawn, I don't want you to leave. I know that I'm selfish, but I want you all to myself, at least just for a little while," you wept into his chest while gripping the fabric of his shirt with your fist.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his soft voice filled with guilt.

He kissed the top of your head, murmuring those two words over and over again.