It's Been A While

Part 3: Liam

To be totally honest I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe I was gay. I don't know. But if I'm going to figure it out with anyone, I was going to use Theo. He's hot. I mean for a guy, not that I'm gay, I mean I could be I just don't know for sure. But I did 100% know that I was enjoying every moment of this.

Yes probably gay.

Suddenly Theo grabbed my hand and slowly put it down his boxer shorts, and one thing led to another... and he no longer had them on.

Soon after a very.. intimate first night away, we were both asleep on my bed. In the middle of the night I woke up and looked at Theo asleep next to me. He looked so sweet... so innocent.

STOP LIAM. You might not be gay, this is an experiment.

I don't like to say I was using Theo to find out if I was gay... but I kind of was.

In the morning we woke up and he got in the shower. I mean the physical attraction was there. But maybe that was just because I was feeling vulnerable and in need of affection. I didn't have any true feelings towards Theo.

I wanted to test myself. So I got into the shower with Theo and tried to avoid any sexual contact, without any talking.

If I was going to see if I liked him, I needed to be able to talk to him as well as... all the other stuff.

"Dunbar. Your a sweet kid." He said. He rustled his fingers through my hair and kissed me. Nothing sexual (asides from being naked in a shower together), just kissing, and talking.

When we got out we went down to the beach where we spent the whole day laughing and talking and little bit is touchy feely in the sea.. but no one saw that.

At the end of the day, we returned to my room and continued our night, I won't go into details again. But let's just say there was more, a lot more!

At the end of it, Theo lay beside me and spoke to me softly.
"Are you okay?" He said.
"Yeah. I'm fine. Are you?" I asked.
"Look I didn't mean to make you confused or anything like that okay." He said.
"Theo. I wanted this just as much as you, and you've made me realise things about myself, which I don't think anyone else could make me realise. I like you, not just in a sexy way." I said and he laughed.
"Yeah I like you too Dunbar. Always have." He said.

We kissed and just lay next to each other the whole night, so close to each other. It felt so natural, so warm and home like. This is what I wanted. This is what I've been looking for. I've been looking for Theo.