A Prophet's Tale: A Collection Of Short Stories From A Twisted Mind

Anxious Formal

Warrington Highschool was not a large school. It had a great library, expensive canteen, an alright media room and one hell of a soccer oval. Too bad, I was afraid to use any of them. Students walk every morning through the blue tinted hallways, filled with grey metal lockers with those twisty locks that are impossible to open on the first attempt. The floors resembled vomit, as it was a vinyl flooring which sported multicoloured dots in very usual, yet somehow random, patterns. I walk quietly head-down to my locker. We didn't want a repeat of the of the Butch vs. Gorry incident did we, said the counsellor, the last time I was beat up. Posters were always pasted on every bit of every open space, but today all the most prominent posters indicated an approaching school dance. I approach my locker. #34565. My world was that in black-and-white, or at least that is how I liked to perceive it. I knew the colours around me. I knew that my locker had green, maroon, and magenta, spray paint all over, most of which spelt words, that I, personally have promised never to say. I walked over to Ricky and Scotty, who were standing in front of my locker, arms crossed.

"Okay so we are all buying two tickets each, right?" asked Ricky, who was always insisting that I needed to get out and have fun every once in a while. Obviously, he had never felt the immense joy of watching every single episode of Battlestar Galactica for the 5th time.

Ricky directed his speech at Scotty who was now holding open my locker, so I could exchange my lunch for my books. Math, check. Science, check. Design and Technology, check. English, check. Ricky had asked Scotty how his date had been the previous night. I didn't understand what was so important about dating. I'm only 16. Their speech then directed itself to myself, who was fighting the struggle that was my 'friend's' apparent need to go to the formal with them AND take a date.

"Yeah, but you know fair well that I am just either going to throw it out or sell it to some kid who missed out on one." My tone was calm, for now.

"We are all taking dates, we are not letting you be the odd one out." He cared. I didn't.

"Do you want us to hook you up, Hoops?" Scotty finally joined in the conversation, unfortunately, the words he said were the incorrect ones. This is the time in my life, where having a mental illness can get you out of anything. There are always perks, no matter how monochrome the situation.

"You know why I can't go with anyone. I get nervous and I can't interact, and I will just talk to myself the entire time, while my lady friend gets picked up by one of the asshole rugby boys. It is hard when you have-"

"Anxiety, we know." Scotty and Ricky seemed quite unimpressed. The mission had been a success.

"And either way, I would only go with one particular female. Who doesn't know I exist." My life was starting to sound like the unwanted fourth Highschool Musical film, but without the music. I can't sing.

Then suddenly, like she was being pushed by someone behind her, so she walked onto the stage at the right time. The only person in colour in my grayscale world walked with her posse, Mean Girls style. I stopped and watched Stephanie walk. 5' 2" in height, but in high heels, she reached 5'5". She had strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes and a perfect nose. She was nice to look at and nice to be around. Unfortunately, I had never hung around her, only watched from a distance. She was the Gnomio to my Juliet.

"So you're going alone then." Ricky stated. Hoops laughed. I didn't get the joke.

I hopped on my bus home. The day been one of staring at Stephanie and getting beat up by Gabriel Butch and his girlfriend, who surprisingly did most of the punching this time, it was usually her job to be watching. Apparently beating her in the latest mathematics assignment made her fail the exam and led to her receiving a grounding.

The felt seat felt warm and comfortable. I liked the bus. It was my favourite part of the day. The near emptiness of the bus and those who are on only want to keep to themselves. The only time you had to interact with another person, was to say 'hi' and 'bye' to the bus driver. I plugged my Weeping Angel Doctor Who earphones in and opened up my playlist titled, "The men who stare at hoops." I looked up and started to read the bus ad present on my seat. I put a Christopher Walken voice on in my head and I read.

"ARE YOU LONELY?, DO HAVE TROUBLE WITH LOVE?, DO YOU POSSIBLY HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS PREVENTING YOURSELF FROM GETTING THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS AND TAKING HER TO YOUR HIGHSCHOOL FORMAL?, IF YES THEN VISIT "

For some reason, I felt compelled to take a photo of the advertisement on my phone.

The next day I visited the spider filled computer lab. The Windows 7 running computer shined its screen upon my face. I read through the website and smiled.

Sitting in the dim-lit food hall, Scotty, Ricky and I sat and ate our $2.30 hotdogs, which probably cost 50 cents to make.

"So, Hoops and I have found you a girl, if you are up for it?" Ricky seemed enthusiastic.

"No need fellas." I felt a sense of pride in saying these words, for the first time in my life.

"Do we want to know why?" Scotty seemed concerned

"I have a list of 10 ways to get a girlfriend for kids with anxiety." I beamed excitedly.

"Okay, so you're still going alone then." Again, I didn't get the joke.

"Why?"

"They don't work. It's that simple."

"Ok, well if I get Steph to go with me, then you both owe me... I don't know, $50."

"Fine, but if you don't you have to wear a panda head to the dance."

"Your loss, I look good in Black & White." Everything was looking up Hoops. I had won a fight for the first time in my life. My life had started to adopt some colour.

I walked up along her street. My suit was nice, my hair had been slicked back. Change your image, check. I had a rose in my hand. Impress her with gifts, check. I had been a jerk and flirted with her friends. Play hard to get, check. Now was the time for the final step. Time to go in for the kill. I danced up to her house with confidence. It was beautiful. Walnut door. Grey paint. Dark tinted windows, with beautiful flowery curtains. I reached for the door and knocks. I stood firmly with the rose in front of my chest.

Stephanie opened the door, looking more beautiful than ever.

"Hi, STEPH. Would you like to um... go to the dance with me?" I asked with full confidence, in my now full colour world perspective.

She just stopped and stared at me confusingly.

"Hi, let's start with who you are?"

"Scotty, from school. You know, I used to do your homework in Year 4." I still had great confidence in my voice. This was going to work.

"Okay, sure. Let's then move on to the matter that today is the day before the dance." I felt less confident now.

"Yep." The colour was slowly dimming.

"And so, I already have a date. Sorry."

She shut the beautiful walnut door behind her.

I just stood there and stared at the golden lion shaped knocker and watched as all coloured faded from my eyes. I dropped the rose.

"F*ck it. I'm wearing the head."