Valentine.

Lillith.

For the full experience, readers are encouraged to read with music. Enjoy!

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Letting out a long, stifled sigh, I slam down on the alarm clock to silence its brutal cry. This is now my third time hitting snooze and quite frankly, I would gladly smash that cursed button again, were it not for the extremely important date I had scheduled tonight.

Smiling in my pillow, I visualize Henry's beautiful face. His large brown eyes never failed to bring butterflies to my stomach. I had instantly noticed them when we'd had our first encounter two weeks ago at a small coffee shop just north of town. 

The devastatingly handsome stranger who'd smiled at me, even after I'd just spilled half a cup of coffee all over his crisp dress shirt, had left me completely speechless and struggling for words. Thinking back, I'm actually quite glad my clumsiness had gotten the best of me that day. Who knows? We may never had gotten the opportunity to exchange numbers had it not been for my award-winning, fatigue-fueled ungracefulness.

I smile again at the thought as I finally gather the courage to defeat this over-bearing gravity that was currently gluing me down to my mattress.

Groaning for motivation, I lazily roll out of bed taking care not to end up on the floor. It would be such a shame if I showed up to our first date with Mafia-grade bruises on my body. I was tired after all, not crazy...

Trudging up to the large, rectangular mirror plastered besides my wardrobe, I stretch my arms out as far as they can go, before hazily peering at the disheveled figure currently yawning in the mirror's awfully candid reflection.

Staring back at me, is a lanky, petite woman, with impossibly pouty lips. Gazing even deeper into her shiny, dark eyes, I watch as they reflect the soft glow of the lamp that is carefully fixated to the top of the dresser. Soft speckles of amber litter her pupils like wilting leaves on a cold, Autumn day. Glancing up, I scowl at her braids which currently rest in a frazzled mess atop her head.

Another yawn threatens to escape, but I quickly suppress it, resisting the urge to crawl back into bed and dreaming into oblivion. My hair was a mess, I had a date in an hour, and I still smelled of old lemongrass left to dry out in the back of an oldtown barn – yet all I could still think about was sleep. Impressive.

With a schedule so demanding, it was hard to find the time to properly take care of myself. I worked a full-time job around the clock, as a legal researcher for a small firm just downtown. If I wasn't being buried under pages and pages worth of contracts and reports, I was either entrapped in back-to-back meetings with rival firms and clients or off ruining the printer cartridge in the office's resource room. Either way, any given weekday, you'd find me in my business casual.

Deep down, the pay was nice, and it kept me more than afloat, but it wasn't the real reason why I worked myself tirelessly. What actually gave me drive, was the blissful comfort and sanctuary I found in the distraction. Though it hurts to admit, keeping myself constantly occupied was a vehicle I used to cope with my helplessly dark past. A shield I used, to bind and suppress all those residing memories that persistently threatened to resurface and haunt me. To pull me back into a desolate time in my past.

Tying in, my love life has been.... complicated. Very, Very Complicated. But hopefully, this would change tonight if things went well. Speaking of which, today is Valentine's Day, I remember. Wanting to grin at the thought. Wanting to feel all excited and mushy, as one was supposed to feel on this date, I can't. I am instead engulfed by a dark shadow as a familiar curl creeps its way into my stomach, sweaty palms shortly following.

For most, the 14th was something to look forward to. The day you got to remind your other half of just how special of a place they held in your heart. For me, it was nothing of the sort. Yes, I have an amazing date waiting for me and yes, I am happy, but I can't shake the glistening droplets of paranoia parading through the depths of my mind. 

This date held a much deeper connotation to me. One that wasn't lovey, or mushy. It was a dark one that made me want to crawl under the bed and hide away until the 15th. But I know I can't do that, because I'd only be letting him, win.

Snapping my attention back to the mirror, I spare a quick glance at the clock on my nightstand peeking at me through the reflection.

34 minutes until Henry gets here. Shit. When was I ever on time? Cursing and hurriedly shimmying out of my clothes, I hop over to the bathroom, and turn on the water. I was hoping to have enough time for a nice soak, but a shower would just have to do. A Military style shower, to be specific.

Sparing a couple minutes, I hook my phone up to my speakers, turning the volume all the way up to help loosen my mood and calm my nerves. I decide I am going to enjoy myself tonight. I was a hardworking woman who deserved it.

...

A fresh shower and a few touch-ups later, I had slipped on a silky red dress that danced along to the lights in tune with the glints in my eyes. The perfect compliment. I now stand repositioned in front of my mirror, smiling satisfied at my reflection. I turn to both sides to check my angles and make sure I am wrinkle free. Once I know I am in the clear, I divert my attention to the new urgent task at hand: red, or pink. This would've been so much easier if I had just taken a few seconds out of my day to actually plan an outfit like normal people did. But no...sleep. Tsking, I settle for matching my dress and smear the dark red stain over my lips, puckering a few times to even out the sheen.

Running my gaze over my rubied lips, another calamitous flashback escapes its cage in the back of my mind and invades the space in my brain.

'You know how much I love to see you in red', he breathes fondly into the crook of my neck, smiling.

My fingers begin to slightly tremble as I dismiss the sunken feeling that has returned in my stomach

The loud buzzing coming from my phone resting atop the dresser startles me out of my wits, as I let out a loud reflexive yelp. Boy, am I a nervous wreck. I laugh to myself reaching for the device. Henry's caller id sprawled across the screen quickly sobers me up.

"Okay", I breathe out to myself. "Pull it together. You are fine. You are safe now." Though saying it aloud usually helps, it still feels more like a question than an affirmation. I exhale.

Smoothing out my dress and trying my best to conceal my uneasiness, I finally press the phone to my ear.

"Hello", I answer as seductively as I can, trying my best to conceal the shakiness in my voice.

"Oh, okay no worries, just... call me when you're here. Oh, Henry you're so sweet, I can't wait either. Okay bye, see you in a bit!"

By the time I hang up, my smile is extending from one ear to the other. Excitement quickly replaces my dread, as I slip on stilettos. After one last satisfied glance at the mirror, I grab my purse and head out the door.

Tonight, is going to be a good night, I repeat to myself, hoping desperately for it to remain true.