The Domino Procedure

"I was born out of matter, just like everyone else.

I have a beginning and ending, just like everyone else.

I know happiness, sadness, envy, love, heartbreak and acceptance; just like everyone else.

I have regrets of opportunities wasted and ruined, just like everyone else.

I have moments that changed my life in a flash, moments that I would never want to change; just like everyone else.

But I am not like everyone else.

I have been around for ages.

I have taken part in history.

I go unscathed through things that would mean the end of anyone else.

I have no knowledge of who created me.

I have no knowledge of why I was created.

I started this alone.

I will finish this alone.

I'm Adam."

Introduction

"So, how's that for an introduction to that little book of yours?", Adam joked.

· "Don't you think it's a bit overdramatic? I mean, don't get me wrong, you did go through a lot of stuff, but there's a lot of trivial things as well. In the notes you sent me about your life it included you being stuck in a Scottish well for a few generations, and you trying to convince me you invented the toothbrush.", remarked the writer.

"The worst part about it is that that certain segment was four pages long."

"Hey, don't blame me for wanting to add a fun little anecdote. You said your book about me could win you a Pullwiser prize, so I'm giving you Pullwiser-quality. If you didn't like it, you should have written about yourself!"

· "Okay, alright, hang on a second. First of all, it's called the Pulitzer Prize.

Second of all, I do not like writing about myself, it makes me feel like a narcissist. I will only write about myself and my views in crucial chapters of the book.

Third of all, you are one of the only beings on this planet that has lived since the dawn of time and is still alive at this very moment, so that makes writing a book about you a pretty damn special event. Whatever I write, I'm writing history, but I don't want to write history on a kindergarten-level, understand?"

The writer ended his short rant with cheeks red as the apples that laid in the basket in between Adam and him. Adam knew very well what the writer expected of him, but toying with people was one of Adam's favourite activities. At this moment he tried to withhold from antagonizing the writer even further, so he drifted back to the practicalities of the book.

"So if I understood this correctly, you want to write a book about my miserably long life filled with unfortunate events, accidents, misunderstandings and general lack of coherence?"

· "Oh don't underestimate yourself now, Adam. You have great memory and have learned more than most human beings have had the time for.", the writer remarked.

"Alright, enough with the flattery. I accept."

"So tell me, how does this thing work exactly? And why are you not writing anything down? Where's your clipboard, pencil, eraser, and intelligent look on your face?"

· "Wait, what did you just say about my face?", asked the author. It was clear to Adam that this was a rhetorical question, and that the author seems much stronger than he is, so Adam called the writer's attention back to what mattered.