Catherine

13. Hard Walls To Break

Catherine woke up the next mourning... she had an headache. It was so strong, she felt like her head would explode. Her sister was sleeping next to her, still holding her hand under the blankets. She lifted up her head, and noticed her mother sleeping by her side, on her seat, leaning against the headboard. Catherine looked around the room for her father, but he wasn't there. She tried to remember what happened yesterday before she fell asleep as she would let out a few hiccups every few seconds. Her head was heavy, she was feeling dizzy, and her vision was spinning... she was starving. She tried to get up as she got herself free from her sister's hand, then went to the bathroom in her parent's bedroom, and looked at herself on the mirror...her face looked as melted as an ice cream, she had a disgusting taste in her mouth, and her eyes were red. She slowly washed herself as she started to gain some strength to move her body, even though it felt tired and heavy... then, she left the room.

Once she reached the bottom floor, she looked around the living room, then called for her father. No one answered. She went to the entrance hall and opened a door that led to her father's office, then she walked in and stopped in front of the table, staring outside the window, looking around at his bookshelves, then walked back out of the office, and went to the kitchen ... he was nowhere to be found. She then took a look at the door that led to the backyard, and so she opened it and went outside, in hopes to find him there. Here father wasn't there as well, so she walked back through the door she came out from, and closed it behind her. She was in the kitchen again.

She looked around for something to eat as her stomach kept rumbling loudly through the silence. She would still let out a few hiccups once in awhile. Her eyes would still let out a few tears as she stopped to think about what happened yesterday... but she wasn't going to cry again... she doesn't wanna listen to herself crying again. Even so... she still couldn't handle it... she didn't want to accept it. Eva's death...

It took her a few minutes until she found a jar of cookies in one of the kitchen shelves. After that, she served herself a cup of milk, and walked back to the living room with a plate of cookies on her hand. She sat on the coach, resting her elbows on her knees, covering her face with the palm of her hands. She looked at the food on the center table she had put in front of her as she was gathering up some courage to eat. After a few minutes, she grabbed one of the cookies she loves so much, then took a first bite, slowly chewing it up as she grabbed her glass of milk to drink, little by little.

The house was completely silent, the atmosphere around her was so heavy, it didn't feel like home. It didn't feel safe. She was staring at the black screen of the television in front of her... she was staring at her reflection, overflowing with a dark aura that kept growing bigger, until it eventually shaped itself as a figure of a person... a figure that perfectly matched her friend's, Eva. Before she even noticed, she felt sick again. She dropped the glass of milk on the floor and held tight to her belly as she covered her mouth with the palm of her hand. She felt her stomach in flames, restless, as if it tried to find its way out. She started retching loudly as she felt her food slowly coming up, filling up her insides and burning through her throat until she could no longer breath, almost choking on her own tongue... and when she least expected... it stopped. It went back down as she swallowed and started coughing, uncontrollably, then her food came up once more. And all of a sudden, she was retching , again... louder, stronger... they took longer and became way more painful than she thought she could handle. And a few moments later, it stopped again... Catherine started trembling... she looked down on her hands, shaking as her tears started flowing down her eyes again.

" D-Damn it! F-fuck... Stop it! " she said to herself, cleaning the tears off her face as she leaned back on the coach. She then cowered herself, wrapping her arms around her legs, resting her face on her knees, sobbing, holding tight to her wrist until she eventually started silently crying.