The Poppy Field

Chapter 15

I didn't stay at Ben's house that night. He had work early the next day and I didn't want to impose, instead deciding that it would be better for me to go home and sleep in my own bed. I didn't mind being alone anymore, knowing that he was just a call away if I needed him.

That night I didn't sleep, my mind still racing from everything that had happened recently, from the crash to the police to my boss to everything that Ben had said to me. I didn't know how to react to it all and it was moments like these, when I was alone, that things finally put themselves into perspective and I couldn't stop thinking and worrying about them.

The sleep that I did have was restless and filled with nightmares. Images from that day flashed through my brain: my boss, my work and that road. There were cars everywhere and suddenly the cars were swerving, slamming into each other with a loud crash.

I woke with a start, sweating and out of breath. I sat up, hugging my knees to my chest and sobbing uncontrollably. This was the first thing that I'd remembered from the accident, and although it wasn't much, it brought back all the guilt, amplifying it until I wasn't sure that I would ever stop crying. I was struggling to breathe properly and my legs shook so much I couldn't stand.

I rang Ben. He didn't pick up, but I hadn't expected him to. Even the sound of his answer phone message managed to comfort me a little bit, but not enough to make a difference. I continued to sob as I left him a message, fighting my instinct to hang up the phone.

'Hey Ben,' I sobbed down the phone. 'I just... I just had this dream. It was... It was the accident and well... Just call me b...back when you get this.' I hung up, suddenly feeling so silly and childish for calling him about something so trivial as a dream.

I crawled back under my covers but I didn't go back to sleep. I decided that I didn't want to remember anymore of the accident, unsure as to whether I could handle the truth. I texted Kara and arranged a meeting for the following day, knowing that we needed to start making a lot more progress with this case if we had a chance of winning. She didn't reply but it was four in the morning and nobody in their right mind would be awake at this time.

Instead I got ready for work, taking almost four hours to do what I usually did in half an hour. I took a long time to eat my breakfast and had drunk three cups of tea before the sun had even risen. I was exhausted by the time I got on the bus to work, but there wasn't anything that I could do about it now, so I powered through, filling my body with more caffeine.

'Hi Poppy,' Caitlyn greeted me when I walked in. I had tried my best to cover the bags that had formed under my eyes but they were still very evident.

'Hi Caitlyn,' I replied with a slight smile as she carried on. I found myself breathing a sigh of relief when I realised that she wasn't informing me of an impromptu meeting.

I checked my phone at lunch time. I had a text from Kara, telling me that she could meet me at five, but wouldn't be able to stay very long as she had a meeting later that evening. I realised that I had no idea what she did for a living. Meeting at five would be possible, but it meant that I had to leave work a little early. Mr Walsh hadn't been in all morning and if he still wasn't here this afternoon then there wouldn't be a problem, but I had a feeling that he wasn't going to be away all day. Unfortunately I was right. He rocked up that afternoon looking incredibly stressed. He was always much worse when he was stressed.

'Poppy, I need a coffee on my desk as soon as possible.' He shouted as he stormed into his office. I made him one in the kitchen, wanting to get it to him within the next few minutes rather than venturing across town to the coffee shop. I hoped that I wasn't making a mistake. He didn't seem to care which coffee I served and drank it straight away, not caring that the water was still boiling and must have burnt his mouth as he drank.