Can a second LOVE outweighs a first LOVE?

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Have you still remember the kilig feeling you had felt the first time you had fallen in love? Wasn’t it exciting to feel that way? Yes I had experienced the said feeling too. It was during my first year in college when I first met my first love. Natulala ako habang nakangiting papalapit si Michael sa akin. When he was already in front of me, he extended his hand and said “ hi Jem, I’m Michael the team captain of our basketball team.” I immediately grabbed his hand and replied, “ hi Michael, I’m glad to meet you.” Natamimi ako at that moment, I can’t understand what I had felt. While holding his hand, I had felt my heart was jumping with joy. Ang lakas ng kabug nito para bang his hand was dribbling my heart inside my chest. I had one conclusion at that time, I said to myself ‘this is it, at last I am in love.” So that was the beginning of the first chapter of my first love.

Popular si Michael in our school and crush siya ng bayan at secret crush ko siya. I was the cheer leader of our school cheering squad kaya hindi malayong mapansin ako ni Michael. Although sabi ng iba na hindi daw ako masyadong maganda, but to tell you the truth sa maniwala kayo o sa hindi basta maganda ako. Heheheh. Michael and I become close and he started courting me. My friends told me not to accept Michael’s proposal of love kasi playboy daw ito. Michael admitted that he can’t help being a playboy kasi ang mga babae ang humahabol sa kanya. Actually may kunting takot din akong nadama ngunit anong magagawa ko in love ako, tibok lang ng puso ko ang naririnig ko. Totoo nga talaga ang sabi nila na “kapag pag-ibig ang pumasok sa puso nimuman hahamakin ang lahat masunod ka lamang.” Kaya close the door of your heart tightly para hindi makapasok si love. Hehehe joke lang. So to make my story short Michael and I became lovers.

Nagsimulang maging colorful, busy & occupied ang buhay ko.You know, the usual things that a lovers would do. I had to admit sometimes nakakapagod din pala ang ma in love pero masaya para bang it gives you the excitement of waking up in every morning. I just realized that those little sweet things that we do to each other consistently in every single day are what make our relationship stronger.

We had a happy relationship parang nawala ang pagiging playboy ni Michael or baka expert lang ito sa time management kaya hindi ko napansin na may iba pa pala heheheh whatever. Four years had passed and we had already graduated in college, I thought that sa church na ang second chapter of my love story kaso lang time has it ways of making the unexpected things happened. Circumstances set us apart. My family relocated from Surigao to Cebu kaya nagkalayo kami ni Michael. We agreed to continue our relationship. We still communicate thru text message and he called me often. But the day had come that our communication stopped. I wasn’t able to reach him anymore and our long distance relationship ended that way. It was a devastating event in my life. It was my first heartache and it was painful. There were times that when I heard a love song I couldn’t help my tears falling into my checks. Para bang tumigil sa pag-ikot ang mundo ko. Pero I was wrong kasi may araw parin at gabi kaya naisip ko na the world is still revolving and I had to move on.

Year 2004 God provided me a job  at doon ko binuhos ang panahon ko to mend my broken heart. I’m an optimist kaya hindi halata na I was on the process of mending a broken heart. Year 2007 the merging of our company happened and that was the beginning of the first chapter of my new love story.

Our office was relocated in another place  at doon ko nakita si Jojo. He was the inbound/outbound in charged at that time. They described him as a man of few words. He is tall, white and good looking. Its just that he is aloof and don’t like to be with other people. I noticed him but I didn’t allow myself to have a deep interest in him perhaps because of the pain I had with my first love. But again the unexpected happened. I was transferred to day shift kaya hindi we had the opportunity to walk together to SM every after office hours. The silent Jojo as expected stayed quite every time we went home together. He just smiled and walked by my side. Kaso lang iba ako, I can’t bear to a quite atmosphere kaya lagi ko siyang tinatanong at kinakausap. Di naglaon he opened up his self to me. He started talking about himself. His interest and his family. We became close friends and I had known him better. I started to understand him kaya pala siya tahimik kasi sanay itong mag-isa. He has a lonely childhood maaga nawala ang parents niya at hindi sila close na magkakapatid. I decided to become his chatting buddy kaya we became best friends. Marami ang nakapansin sa magandang change sa attitude ni Jojo and I was happy about it.

After a month I was transferred again to nightshift duty, I thought hindi na kami maging close ni Jojo but the thing was sabay parin kaming umuuwi tuwing madaling araw. Jojo slept in the office just to wait for me. He made sacrifices for me at hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit. He just told that he just enjoyed my company. He cared a lot for me. Like buying me dinner every night na may duty ako. Kahit day off niya,pumupunta pa rin siya sa office tuwing gabi para lang samahan ako. Alam mo yong, he did things that a boyfriend should do to his girlfriend. Pero wala siyang sinasabi sa akin basta ginagawa lang niya. I was hesitant to ask him if he likes me kasi baka ma offend siya. Kaya ang tanong ko lagi sa kanya if meron ba siyang gusting sabihin sa akin. And he usually answered me, wala lang I’m just happy being with you. Hay oo torpe talaga minsan tuloy naisip ko kung ako nalang kaya ang mag proposed sa kanya curious tuloy ako on what would be his reaction.

February 14, 2007 namasyal kami sa SM may nakita akong stuff toy sabi ko maganda pero hindi ko binili. He just smiled at me. Kinabukasan pag dating ko sa office nandoon na ang stuff toy sa ibabaw ng mesa ko. Lumapit si Jojo sa akin at sabay sabi, “ aah…um…am  Jem, please help me I think I’m falling in love with you.” Natulala ako, hindi ko alam kung ano ang aking sasabihin. Hanggang napatingin ako sa mga mata ni Jojo and I realized that his tears were in process of falling. I can’t bear to see him cry kaya ang sabi ko” Alright,  let us try to fall in love with each other. That was how my new found love started.

Jojo is a very loving and caring man. A rainbow appeared in my life again. Mabait, responsible, loving and caring na boyfriend si Jojo kaya sabi ko at ng mga officemates namin that I’m lucky to have him. He told me, that he is lucky to have me because I’m cute and he just like the way I am. We are happy to have each other.

One day, an unexpected thing happened, Michael called me, he wanted us to meet. He begged me to give a chance to talk. I can’t understand my feelings at that moment. Part of me wanted to meet him but another part didn’t want to. But I decided to meet him because I felt that I deserved a reasonable explanation why he walked out in our relationship. We had dinner in a restaurant, he tried to explain & he wanted us to get back together but it seemed that I didn’t hear him. By just looking into his eyes I just know that there wasn’t love in there. The feeling of my first love is gone. In a flashed of a second I remember Jojo eyes, it looked so different compared to Michael’s eyes. Probably the saying is true that “the eyes of a person  is a mirror of his soul” for in Jojo eyes  I can see his love for me. I just realized at that moment that I love Jojo so much and my day is not complete without looking at his eyes. So that was the closure of my first love.

My new found love has no closure for as long as God permits we are planning to have it glowing to a lifetime. Jojo and I had 2 children now. Although we had our downtimes as husband and wife but we keep on standing no matter what happens  we would never give up on each other for that is how true love works.

My friends and my officemates usually teased & asked me, on how I  managed to break in into Jojo’s world of ice? I just told them, I did not break in, I had just unfrozen his heart by using the warmth of my charm & my true love for him. When Jojo’s heart & my heart collided we found real love in each others heart.

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⏰ Huling update: Aug 31, 2014 ⏰

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