"Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"
••
Christian Ivonov, CEO of Ivonov enterprises, had always been the best at fucking things up. Whether it be relationships, or company connections, nothing was too far out of his reach to ruin.
Alex...
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I was miserable the next two days.
What did I catch on this camping trip, you might ask?
Nature. I caught fucking nature.
And my asthmatic, allergic, weak immune system couldn't handle the trials and tribulations nature had sent my way over the course of a few days. I was now comfortably rested in bed with a nice cup of tea (sure it was accompanied with a few shots of whiskey... sue me) and some It's Always Sunny reruns.
I heard a knock on my door just as soon as I settled back into the cocoon of blankets. It didn't surprise me when I opened the door and Derek and Joan barged past into my apartment like they contributed to these rent payments or something.
"We've skipped out on work to tend to a friend in need." Derek announced to the otherwise empty apartment.
"Yay." I replied sarcastically.
Derek gave me a look. Clearly he didn't approve of the tone I was taking with him.
"You look miserable." Joan grimaced when she got a better look at me. "Did you go tree hugging or something?"
"Christian fucking Ivanov took me camping."
I could of sworn Derek and Joan's eyebrows furrowed deeply at exactly the same time. "But... why?"
I shrugged my shoulders in response. "He wanted to test out some of this camping gear before the items go on shelves for Ivanov Corp. The stuff was actually pretty cool, except for the fact that it took me about four good hours to get a tent assembled and I ended up getting too drunk then lost... then I fell asleep in Christian fucking Ivanov's tent only to be woken up by him in a response to my face looking like a tomato on steroids." That last part, I rushed out.
Derek and Joan were stunned into silence. It looked like it was taking Derek a minute to come up with words, and when he did, they made very little sense.
"You-... in Christian fucking Ivanov's tent- and you-"
"I don't even want to hear it." I grumbled. What had started off as a day riddled with potential, was now on the verge of being written off as trash.
"How the flying fuck did you get yourself in a position such as that one?!" Joan spoke up next. Her eyes just about bulged right out of her sockets in shock.
Before I could reply, Derek pointed down to my wrapped up leg. "And what the hell happened there?"
I gave them both another infamous sigh.
"Nature happened. Now please, my body is going through a constant state of deciding whether it still wants to live on, so let's not dwell on how shitty I look any longer." I pleaded with my two best friends. They exchanged a few glances before finally giving me a nod. "Tell me how work's going."
