"Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"
••
Christian Ivonov, CEO of Ivonov enterprises, had always been the best at fucking things up. Whether it be relationships, or company connections, nothing was too far out of his reach to ruin.
Alex...
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"My head hurts." Derek wined. I glanced over at him. He was currently doodling on one of the files, instead of doing the actual work that Christian had instructed us to do.
If it wasn't for the bruises along the top of his forehead, I would have most likely jumped across my desk to choke this man out. Apparently, Derek's girlfriend had beat the shit out of him as soon as he got home. The bruises were from the countless random objects she'd thrown his way and managed to hit him with. She had claimed he smelt like another woman. He said he smelt that way because he had ran into a friend on his way home, and she had given him a hug.
The truth could most likely be found by determining what Derek's idea of a 'hug' is.
In all honesty, Derek was a wild card when it came to monogamy and loyalty and faithfulness. It could have been a hug...but it was more likely something more. The way Joan and I saw most of Derek's relationships, was like this: not our relationship, not our problem.
We'd probably have viewed things differently if the girls Derek dated and cheated on them with, weren't so fucking mental.
I couldn't help but wish to live long enough to see Derek find someone right for him. Really couldn't tell you who that might be, but I'm sure there had to be someone on this planet for him... right?
I glanced back over at Derek. His hand accidentally knocked over his coffee mug which flipped and spilt all over his dress pants. He stood up so suddenly, his ice bag fell off his head and whacked Joan in the face. The intense glare she gave Derek, made him scoot further away as he mouthed her an apology. There was now a very large crotch stain on his khakis that made him look like he peed himself.
Okay... maybe not.
"Derek, just break up with the poor woman already. We all know this relationship is the farthest from healthy." Joan spoke sternly.
"But the sex is so good." Derek whined. Joan smacked the back of his head. "Ouch!"
"Then establish something casual. Stop nose diving into commitment you know you're not ready for." I said. Joan nodded in agreement.
"But woman don't want something casual." He argued.
"So you rather manipulate someone into a relationship where they're under the assumption you are devoting yourself to just them, and investing time in just them... just to get some pussy? You'd do all of that for some pussy?" Joan snapped. Derek's head hung low.
"Well when you put it that way..."
"No other way to put it, sugar. Go get you a good woman that won't put you in the goddamn hospital, because you and I both know you don't have health insurance."
I couldn't help but chuckle at Joan's comment.
She was right though. Just how some people calculate they might have fifty or sixty more years to live, Derek was three girlfriends away from ceasing to exist.
