Parador (Juggernaut #2)

Thirteen

When Tila left them, she picked a direction a random and found herself walking back up the hill. This time she skirted the crowd as much as possible. People were the problem she wanted to avoid and yet they were all around her. They laughed at and with each other, shouted over the noise of the engines, whooped at vehicles as they accelerated away, and generally seemed to be enjoying themselves immensely. It was a life she recognised as something she could have had, if things had been different. A life in the sun, under a blue sky, with friends and family all around. This was not her world any more. But was it ever? Who could say that this would have been her life if she had grown up planetside. Who could say that she wouldn't be enjoying this like everyone else, if she had had the choice.

But I didn't, and the choice was taken from me. I had to survive without the money these people have. Without their world. And I had to find my own family. Or am I still looking for them?

Her mood darkened as she climbed until she was high enough to be alone. The noise of the crowds still assaulted her ears, but at last her view was uninterrupted, and it was enough to lift even her heart.

The mid-afternoon sun was still high, but the quality of the light had changed. Instead of the bright, fresh yellow of the morning, the sky had taken on a darker hue. The sunlight seemed somehow richer and thicker and small, puffy clouds rimmed the horizon. None were close enough to cast a shadow on the events below. Tila cast shadow enough.

The trees in the mid-distance rippled through shades of green and twisted and bent under a wind Tila could not feel. The distant horizon was lost in atmospheric haze, and only the bright sparkles of reflected sunlight revealed where the sky ended and the sea began.

I've spent too long trapped inside the tunnels of a dead city. This is freedom. This is a sight worth seeing. What can the Juggernaut offer next to this? Malachi and Ellie might have to go back, it's their home, after all. And I'll miss them but I don't belong there. Or anywhere.

Malachi will be okay, but Ellie...? Can I abandon her? She needs me. She's not safe without me. Dammit, I should be with her now. Someone has to look after her. Malachi is too interested in those stupid racers to care and Jayce is no help at all. The sooner we are out of here the better. We don't need his help. Or Blake. We can find Conway on our own. We found the others without help.

How could I have let this happen? This is exactly the what I wanted to avoid. I knew I should have left Ellie behind, and now she's down there somewhere about to race against people she doesn't know, in a ship she doesn't know. She doesn't even know the rules, assuming there are any. Racing around the Juggernaut would be safer than this. At least there if something goes wrong you can pull away from the city and head out into space and someone will pick you up. Here she has to fight gravity just to stay up, and she's never done that before. She's going to get herself killed. I'm going to get her killed! These people are dangerous, this race is dangerous. I need to stop it.

Or do I? Am I being too impatient? Maybe I'm not thinking this through clearly. If Ellie doesn't race we don't get to meet Conway, or so Jayce says. But we can find another investor. Why is Conway so important? He's a big investor but he's not the only one. Maybe tomorrow we can meet someone else.

But what if we don't? What then? Our credit chips don't work. How long can we stay here with no money? Jayce thinks our ship could be impounded if it's found. How much time do we have really?

Hmmm, Jayce. He's an idiot but he's an idiot with contacts, or so he says. Do we need him? I don't want to rely on him, but then I didn't get anywhere with Suleman and Harrington. Is Jayce lying to us? Does it matter? Blake's the one who said he could fix a meeting with Conway. Or is he lying too? Can I trust any of them? What's in it for them? They can't be doing this out of the kindness of their hearts. Blake surely isn't. It's unlikely Jayce is either. Unless... Ellie... of course.