Late Night Talks ✔

cHaPTer fOrTy thRee

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PLAYLIST :

     I looked at my phone for the millionth time. I was hoping that by staring at it long enough, I'd will it to ring. I really wanted someone to call me, that someone being either Derek or Tiffany. But there was nothing. I got complete silence from their side.

     I didn't know how to convince either of them to listen to me. I figured Tiffany would eventually talk to me.

     About Derek . . . I had no idea. I didn't even know what I was supposed to apologize for. He knew the truth and he knew I didn't do it intentionally. He knew I'd never do that to hurt him. All he wanted was for me to tell the truth. I tried. A lot of times. But I just backed away at the last minute.

     I was afraid of ruining what I had with him. I thought the truth would distance him from me. I didn't want to lose him. If only Derek could understand that.

     I called him repeatedly only to go straight to his voicemail. Talking on the phone won't work. I should be having this conversation with him face to face. He came to my house to express his feelings. I should do the same. A big gesture was what it'd take to show Derek what he meant to me.

     I rushed to my sister's room. "Gina, can I borrow your car? For a few hours?" I asked my sister with all the sweetness I could muster.

     "Why?" She asked nonchalantly.

     "I need to drive to Derek's house."

     "What can't he pick you up?" She groaned. "I'm not lending my car for your dates. Especially if it's with Derek."

     I looked at her with a frown. "Please, Gina. We're kinda in the middle of a misunderstanding. So I need to go talk to him."

     "What? You play relationship for a day and already have a fight? Honestly, sis, I don't see this going anywhere."

     "Gina, I'm not here for your two cents. Keys, please." Gina never ever took me or anything that happened with me seriously. She seemed to ignore everything I said and my irritation with her just kept building up.

     "I'm doing you a favor here. The sooner you break up with him, the better it'll be," Gina said.

     "Seriously?" I scoffed. "I don't need advice from a self important sister who only needs me when she's stoned and in deep shit."

     That finally got her attention. "Hey! Don't talk to me like that."

     "Like what?" I yelled at her. "Like how you talk to me every fucking time! Can you for once act like my sister?""

     "What's wrong with you? I am your sister. And I'm looking out for you."

     "It doesn't seem like you are."

     "It would if you'd crawl out of your little bubble and look around you. Also, you would have noticed that I don't even smoke pot anymore. I'm getting my shit together." She shook her head, clearly frustrated with my insensitivity.

     I bit my lip and looked down with shame. "I'm sorry. I'm having a bad day. Everyone's mad at me. And you always act like you're mad at me."

     "Sit down," she offered. "And tell me what's wrong."

     I sat down next to her. "You know that before this Derek was with Shayna and then they broke up? So she found out today that we are together and she's mad at me. Tiffany too is mad at me because she believes I broke up Shayna and Derek."

     "You did break them up," Gina said.

     "It wasn't me entirely. Their relationship wasn't serious and Derek told me that they'd still break up. And Shayna was okay after the break up. Her problem is me being with Derek. She feels Derek chose me over her and that's hard for her to digest."

     "Well then, she'll have to get used to what it is."

     I rested my head on Gina's shoulder. "She won't. So she said something to Derek and he's mad at me."

     Gina's eyes grew wide and she clicked her tongue. "If he believes her over you, then-"

     "Don't say anything. It was my fault so he's not in the wrong for being mad right now. I know you don't want me to go to him because you don't like him. But it's important that I do."

     "I don't really dislike him. It's just that I don't trust him with you. But if you do, that's fine by me. I'm not all that opposed to the idea of you two being together."

     I never knew I could have soulful conversations with my sister. It felt really good. "Wow, I appreciate that. Although I don't know if it means anything anymore because I have no idea if he wants to be with me or not."

     As if on cue, my phone rang. We both turned our attention to it. "There's your answer," Gina smiled. "Looks like you won't be needing the car after all."

     I pulled her into a hug. "I love you!"

     "Please." Gina slipped away. "Don't get sentimental."

     I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. I'll go talk to him now. Bye."

~~~

     "Hi," I said slowly into my phone.

     "Hey, so. . . I just saw your calls."

     "Derek, I'm sorry," I said in a low voice. "I know I should've told you the truth, but I couldn't. I didn't know how you'd react and honestly, I didn't want to know. I was wrong."

     "I know. I," he paused. "I need some time."

     "Time?" I didn't like the sound of that. "How much time?"

     "I don't know. Maybe we can talk tomorrow."

     "Tomorrow? Um, okay. I guess that sounds good," I said dejected.

     "Vivian, I'm not angry. I don't want you to think that I'm angry. I just need some time, okay?"

     "Yes. I get it. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Derek."

                                                  

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