Voices

CHAPTER 2

I slipped on my hoodie and my ripped skinny jeans. I put my hood up, and put my headphones in.

WHY ARE YOU WEARING SKINNY JEANS FATASS?

I know I'm fat Thana, thanks for reminding me.

I often went on midnight walks to try and get away from life. It worked sometimes. I would walk from mine and Luke's house to town. I would buy a beer, a pack of blades, and a box of cigarettes. Always.

HAHA MAYBE THE CIGS WILL KILL YOU BEFORE YOU CAN KILL YOURSELF.

You would be so lucky, Thana.

I would go and sit on the bench on the corner of Main St. I would smoke one, drink my beer, and then tuck the blades away for safe keeping.

So that's what I did. My routine never failed. I only did it once a week or so, but when I did do it, it always remained the same.

"Hey Emma," the store clerk said.

"Hey Deb."

She smiled her six toothed smile. It was the only smile I ever got anymore.

"Menthols?" she asked.

She knew me so well. She knew what I wanted before I came for it. How sweet.

SHE WANTS YOU DEAD TOO. SHES OFFERING YOU A DEATH STICK. AND YOUR STUPID ENOUGH TO ACCEPT IT.

Maybe your right.

"Thanks," I said putting my Heineken on the counter. I put the razor down beside it. She frowned, as always.

"Here's a twenty," I said handing her the bill.

"I never charge you a lot," she said.

"Well, I don't need the money."

I grabbed my items and walked out. I popped my lighter out of my pocket, and lit up my cancer stick. Although I hadn't been fortunate enough to get cancer yet.

GOD WANTS YOU TO SUFFER. HE HATES YOU.

You're probably right.

I walked in the middle of the road every time. Not only because it was midnight and no one was in the road, but also because there WAS a risk of me getting hit.

The thought filled me with immense joy.

I did something different. I laid in the road. Right in the four way intersection. I puffed another time.

GOD I HOPE YOU GET HIT. THEN I CAN STOP WASTING MY TIME MAKING YOU INSANE.

You made me insane a long time ago....

I looked at the stars. It reminded me of Luke's eyes. And then I remembered the first time Luke brought me out to watch the stars with him.

I cried.

I closed my eyes and cried out. I missed him so damn bad. I needed him. He kept me alive. He was the only person I truly loved anymore. He was the only thing that made me happy.

YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.

Shut up, I know.

I heard a car horn and saw the night sky light up. Screeching tires and I closed my eyes even tighter.

FINALLY

Is this it?