I slipped on my hoodie and my ripped skinny jeans. I put my hood up, and put my headphones in.
WHY ARE YOU WEARING SKINNY JEANS FATASS?
I know I'm fat Thana, thanks for reminding me.
I often went on midnight walks to try and get away from life. It worked sometimes. I would walk from mine and Luke's house to town. I would buy a beer, a pack of blades, and a box of cigarettes. Always.
HAHA MAYBE THE CIGS WILL KILL YOU BEFORE YOU CAN KILL YOURSELF.
You would be so lucky, Thana.
I would go and sit on the bench on the corner of Main St. I would smoke one, drink my beer, and then tuck the blades away for safe keeping.
So that's what I did. My routine never failed. I only did it once a week or so, but when I did do it, it always remained the same.
"Hey Emma," the store clerk said.
"Hey Deb."
She smiled her six toothed smile. It was the only smile I ever got anymore.
"Menthols?" she asked.
She knew me so well. She knew what I wanted before I came for it. How sweet.
SHE WANTS YOU DEAD TOO. SHES OFFERING YOU A DEATH STICK. AND YOUR STUPID ENOUGH TO ACCEPT IT.
Maybe your right.
"Thanks," I said putting my Heineken on the counter. I put the razor down beside it. She frowned, as always.
"Here's a twenty," I said handing her the bill.
"I never charge you a lot," she said.
"Well, I don't need the money."
I grabbed my items and walked out. I popped my lighter out of my pocket, and lit up my cancer stick. Although I hadn't been fortunate enough to get cancer yet.
GOD WANTS YOU TO SUFFER. HE HATES YOU.
You're probably right.
I walked in the middle of the road every time. Not only because it was midnight and no one was in the road, but also because there WAS a risk of me getting hit.
The thought filled me with immense joy.
I did something different. I laid in the road. Right in the four way intersection. I puffed another time.
GOD I HOPE YOU GET HIT. THEN I CAN STOP WASTING MY TIME MAKING YOU INSANE.
You made me insane a long time ago....
I looked at the stars. It reminded me of Luke's eyes. And then I remembered the first time Luke brought me out to watch the stars with him.
I cried.
I closed my eyes and cried out. I missed him so damn bad. I needed him. He kept me alive. He was the only person I truly loved anymore. He was the only thing that made me happy.
YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.
Shut up, I know.
I heard a car horn and saw the night sky light up. Screeching tires and I closed my eyes even tighter.
FINALLY
Is this it?
YOU ARE READING
Voices
FanfictionSecond book. It's a little heavy... Sorry if u don't like it! I didn't wake up this morning to impress you!