3/8/11
‘Hey So I am going to tell you a SECRET!!! My mom is pregnant. I am so happy she is ten weeks old. Plus at Eva’s Sleep over (my best friend) I didn’t sleep all night!! I pulled an all nighter!! and I love tyler well sorta and Justin Bieber He is dating Selena Gomez.’
who knew that now in 2014 I could not stand that little sucker for nothing. Wow I was such a loser no wonder boys didn’t like me.
4/16/11
‘My Best Friend Mariah is so boring all she is talking about her boyfriend Josh. Gross.
Wednesday was the worst day ever like of my life. First Shidaysha ( girl who bullied me) and Tyler and going out. grrr. Well Tyler does not wanna go out with her but he’s too nice to say no to her and well long story short Tyler was walking by my desk to go to the bathroom when he flicked me and I started to laugh and Shidaysha came from behind me and flicked me and said ‘I know you like tyler’ and later I was walking and she told me ‘You better turn around and leave you’re so ugly!’ The couch was watching and didn’t say anything wow. I ended up crying silently in line alone.’
Aw britney ): I promise there was more bullying in the 5th grade it’s just 90% of the time I was scared to write what happened because I thought my mom would find my book.
March, 14th, 2013
9:52 pm
‘i cut ok’
Dear Diary,
Hi? Wow It has been awhile. I haven’t written in this book for what seems like five years or so?? Hmm what has happened? I am struggling with life and a whole lot more… I mean my parents and family are fine… wait nevermind. My grandfather recently passed away last October 11th 2012, at 10pm and my family is fine.
Except for me.
I’m hurt and I have no one to talk to and I feel a lot better writing. I feel like a bother to everyone on the earth. no one understands me. Someone might say ‘it will be okay’ no listen to me when I try to make friends, I do but I’m not as smart as the others, maybe yes I admit I look like crap. I am fat.
‘Your soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine but I wish I was dead - lana del rey’
*Warning I don’t usually cuss but..*
10:04pm
Most of the time I wish I was dead. Lets be real I want to be dead so bad. I want to go to therapy and I’m just afraid that my mom will think I’m a freak. I mean I’m bullied every single fucking day. I am so insecure. I’m sensitive and alone. I feel like bingeing or not eating. The usual.
( I did get caught the first time ever. Yeah I’ve been bulimic for a while now)
I want to die now!!! I’m like, My best friend is upset with me, I’m sorry. I think I will explain my bull ting now. I think it was tuesday in band when Chris called me a ‘fat bitch’ and I lost it..I am done with constantly and including him always bullying me.
I’m tired of crying.
I’m tired of feeling alone.
When someone even talks about me… I start to cry.
I’m not perfect alright? I’ll never be good enough for you, for him, I’m not good enough!!! They say ‘you hate your life well someone else wants it’ yeah well if someone else want’s my life so bad they can have it.
I have been called ‘a bitch’ ‘a whore’ ‘a hoe’ ‘fat’ ‘worthless’ ‘stupid’ ‘slow’
What did I do wrong? Hmm? Tell me? I’m done with this okay bye.
I’m SICK of humans.
- Love Britney”
We are out of the childhood and into the recent sad. Days please bare with me. Love you all.
