NOW
There’s no turning back now. I can’t back out. This is as good a time as any to show him how I have moved on with my life. Four years is a long time to still be affected by him.
Nick steadies me by holding my arms. I take a step backward and he awkwardly drops his hands to his side.
“ Cassy. How long has it been?” he says with a kind of wonder. He stands on my way so even if I want to run past him, I couldn’t do it lest I look like a fool. This should also be my opportunity to prove to him and mostly to myself that I am over him. But based on the fact that my heart is hammering like crazy, I have my doubts.
It’s been 4 years and 8 weeks. Yes, I have keep count.
“Hey, Nick. This is a surprise.” I would have wanted my voice to at least have a little lilt to it, to sound nonchalant and relax, but even to my ears, I sound breathless and helpless. Damn you Nick and your chocolate eyes!
“I saw you come inside, soo…” He let the sentence hang as he takes in my denim shorts and blue shirt. Nothing was spectacular about my outfit. I should have dressed up a little bit, I scold myself. I always imagine myself in a really great cocktail dress and stilettos when I meet him again. Yet, when he sees me today, I still look like I used to; a wretched mess. Nothing’s change. Just like in high school, I still look like a pathetic fool.
All I want is to escape from his penetrating gaze, right now. I step aside and start walking to the counter to pay for my purchases. Thank God there’s no line to the cashier.
“So, are you here for the summer? “ I hear Nick asked from behind. He has followed me to the counter.
“For just a couple of days. I will go on vacation with friends next week,” I say, not looking at him. I fix my eyes to the girl who is packing my cookies.
As soon as my purchases are packed, I grab the two paper bags only to have those lifted up from my arms by Nick. I am about to protest but it’s useless to talk to his retreating back. I follow him outside. I look at the table he sat before he came in but the girl he was talking to was nowhere to be seen. When I look at Nick again, I am surprise that he is striding to my gray Honda Civic.
“Thanks,” I say after he put down the bags on the back seat. I walk to the driver seat.
As I open the door, I turn to him and said,” Can we talk? Can I see–“
And for the first time since that fateful night 4 years ago, I see the hurt in his eyes. Then it vanishes after an instant. I doubt if I really saw what I think I see.
“What for?” he cut me off. Then he step backwards and let me get inside the car. Then he turns his back on me.
My face flaming red, I start the car and don’t breathe until I am out of the parking lot. Sneaking a glance back, I see that Nick has stopped and is staring at the back of the car. I wonder if he has seen the same kind of pain reflected in my eyes.
I sigh but the thudding in my chest doesn’t stop, not for a long time.
YOU ARE READING
My First Broken Heart
Teen FictionWhat would you do when you see that boy again, the one whose heart you broke unmercifully? And what would you do if you realized you love him still, after all these years? Would you be ready to do everything to gain his love once again? This is Cass...
