My First Broken Heart

Chapter 1: Hello,again

When you dream of something, when you want something bad enough, you do everything to make it into reality. You make the steps, even small ones to reach that goal.

Ever since I could remember, it has been my dream to write but this is the first time I was able to muster up the guts to let the world see what's been up in my head. This isnt much. My writing isnt up in Rainbow Rowell territory but this is mine and I am happy to share it to you. Comments and reads are highly appreciated and I will be eternally grateful for your votes,too. :)

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NOW

As soon as my car stops outside Yzabel's, I immediately see Nick. I stare at him for a good 5 minutes, unsure what to do. Just a few meters away from me is the boy whose heart I broke unmercifully a few years back. I feel my hands tremble, my heart races like crazy. Do I turn back around and pretend I didnt see him? Or should I be strong enough to face the boy who after all these years can still make me lose control of myself?

So he still hangs out here, I say to myself. I was kinda hoping I wont be seeing him for the duration of my stay. I have been lucky enough not to see him for the last four years. When I was home during holidays, I never stay longer than a couple of days,afraid that I would run into him around the town. I always make it a point not to drive around the streets near his house. I dont go to the places I know he frequented when we were younger. I took my chance today hoping not to bump into him. I guess I was wrong.

I still had my doubts if I will be rational enough to face him again after all this time. Any rational thoughts fly from my mind whenever I am within his field of vision. Evidence enough is the thudding in my chest and the deafening rush in my ears right now. I don't quite trust myself to be lucid, especially around him. But now, here is the inevitable. He is here. There is no turning back. I, Cassandra Montes, can't be coward too, can I?

I exhale audibly, suddenly aware that I have been holding my breath. Ok, I need a plan. Looking around, I find that the parking lot is pretty packed. It is a Saturday after all. As far as I remember, Yzabel's is always packed with kids wanting a break from the heat. Its proximity to the school makes it the best hang out for kids after school. Adults love the coffee here, too. Starbuck's hasn't invaded our little town yet, so everybody comes here for a great cup of frothy coffee and homemade pastries and cakes. The combo of espresso and a red velvet cake doesn't disappoint, I'm telling you.

Lifting my shoulders up and wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans, I resolve to get it over with. So here's the plan. I would go out from my car as discreetly as possible. I wouldn't slam the door because that would be a great move to catch attention. And I would duck across the lot and between cars, hoping against hope that the black-haired girl Nick is talking to wouldn't allow his attention to wander. I know that furrow in his forehead. His eyes are not leaving her. She is talking animatedly, her hands gesturing in front of his face. Yes, I think I can pull this off without being seen.

And I do just that, keeping my eyes down. I untuck my hair behind my ears and let it fall in the side of my face, my converse shoes barely making any noise against the cement. The few meters from my car to the front door take only a couple of minutes. I focus my eyes to the glass door, not letting it wander to the occupied tables outside it. I hear laughter. I hear the shriek of the girls from the nearest table. Soft breeze is blowing my hair. Dust blow into my eyes. I squint. Mercifully, I reach the door, push it hard, hear the bell chime above it and feel the cool air from inside. I let out a huge sigh of relief. I made it.

A smile tugs at the corner of my lips as I look around the shop. Instantly, I am reminded why I love it here. Yzabel's is a coffee shop slash convenience store in the middle of town. While outside of it is lined with tables and chairs beneath beach umbrellas, inside is a cozy coffee shop in one corner with green modern tables. A few aisles of chips and snacks lined the other end. Facing the door is the counter with a glass display case of delectable cakes and pastries. In the beige walls hang a few abstract paintings which I know the owner Belle painted herself. The girl in the counter throws me a smile. I gesture towards the snack aisles. I am giving myself 5 minutes tops to get what I want, pay for it and make a dash towards my car and get the hell out of here.

Grabbing chips, cookies and some chocolates from the shelves, I dump the packages in a small basket. Bread and milk, check. They don't have pasta and eggs so I need to go to a grocery store after here. I open the refrigerator in the corner and take a few bottles of soda. I pause for a second and grab a six pack. I might need this to help me sleep tonight. My mental checklist complete, I turn towards the counter. I am looking down my basket, checking my purchases and making sure I don't forget something when I walk into a hard wall in the middle of the aisle.

Uh oh. I have a bad feeling about this. Even before I raise my eyes from the basket I am holding, even before I hear the voice, even before the deafening thud in the chest echoed through me, I know it was him.

" Cassy, " Nick says. That's all he has to say to make me lose control of myself.

But I am so proud of myself because it only lasted for a few seconds. The next moment, I gather myself, square my shoulders and meet his brown eyes. Then I lose myself all over again. I should have known not to look at these pools of melted chocolates. Because in an instant, those eyes transport me back to high school.

Do you remember? I want to ask him.

Because I do.

I do.