Fear

He

A normal day . I was raised by my father . My mother as cliche as this sounds, died by giving me birth . I was the one , that killed my own mother . Not because of a fight or something . No! I killed her because i was selfish . I wanted to see the world .
You might think now that this  could never be my fault , but it felt like it was .
So does my father think . He tries to be kind and patient , but i know how hard it is for him to look at me. I wondered if he had the choice between me and my mother , who would it be ? Actually!
It is an easy question to answer though , because he told me ! Every singel time ! Every time I made a mistake , everytime I smiled , he said if she could be here now , his life would be fine again.
My father and I are living in a big house . Of course we have a lot of money , because he tries to avoid me and how could this be easier than working the entire time ?! We have a pool and this whole fancy stuff like a pooltable , a big yard ,of course we have stables with a few horses , also lots of cars and chauffeurs driving us arround .
All in all my life situation was not that horrible , one could say .
But do not think i am that type of boy partying around with his friends taking drugs and so on . Of course not ! Also i would not figure my self as a nerd type of boy . I am a normal boy , wich kind of owns a lot of money .
But most of the time I just felt lonely . Even the staffing was alien to me .
What was the most interesting place of this empire we owned was the little hidden place behind the huge oak trees . It was my place . The place where i build my own life . The place were i was controled by my imagination.
It was the place were I saw her .