Summer Sights

04 | misconceptions

The rest of the day was uneventful. I tried to get the hang of things and was quiet for the most part. Especially when Emily mentioned that mystery guy had a crazy desperate ex named Baylor. I just said that it's none of my business and kept working. I'm not surprised that he has an ex. I wouldn't be surprised if he has an army of exes ready to fight off any new girl who dared to pursue him. 

But I also don't care. 

So I just kept working. Blocking mystery guy out of my head. Blocking Andre out of my head. Andre Martin. It's a nice name I suppose.

But a troublesome boy. 

Right now, I'm in the car with Aunt T driving home from the diner. She's talking about, something. I'm not really listening. I'm pretending to though, to humor her. But I can't hear a thing she's saying. Listening hasn't been my strong suit recently. I keep finding myself too lost in my own blank thoughts to listen to anyone else's with actual substance.

I notice how it's 8:30 but the sun's still yet to lower itself from the sky. I love that about summer, how the sun sets later. For whatever reason, I feel like the later the sun sets, the prettier the sky is when it happens.

I sense the car come to a slow stop and Aunt T's already swung her door open. I get out of the car and follow her into the house.

I trail her into the kitchen where she tosses her keys onto the island with a sigh and walks over to her large refrigerator. I take a seat in a wooden stool at the island and watch as she rummages through the freezer.

"Ok Kammy, so I know I'm a renowned chef and own the place where the best food in town is shared, but today we're gonna have to settle for frozen pizza." She pauses and looks back at me with the frozen margarita pizza in hand. "That alright with you?"

She remembered. I had forgotten. But she remembered.

She remembered that when I used to come down here with my parents during the dangerously hot summers and we'd go to Reason Lake, I'd always be hungry after our family swim. And when she'd ask what I wanted for dinner, I'd always ask for the same thing. Margarita pizza. Even as years went by and I neared an age where the stage would no longer be appropriate, I still asked for the same thing. It was my favorite. It's still my favorite. And she remembered.

I small smile pulls at my lips, "I think that's the best thing you could've come up with."

She gives me a knowing smile and preheats the oven.

♢♢♢

"That was really good Aunt T," I praise, wiping my mouth and pushing my plate aside.

"I'm glad." She takes our plates and puts them in the sink. When she comes back over, she's smiling widely. Of course. 

"What?" I ask quizzically.

"I'm just so glad to see you again, you know you're not a little girl anymore. You're a young woman, it's hard to process." She makes wide hand gestures in the direction of my body, "I mean I can tell from the ass and boobs but-" she interrupts her sentence with unexpected chortles.

I cross my arms around my body tightly, an uncomfortable smile at my lips. I hate my body. I know there are some girls who envy more developed bodies and the stares from guys (or girls it's 2019) that come with it. But I hate it. 

Sometimes it feels like being in the spotlight 24/7. I know that might sound like an overreaction but over time, each innocent stare just starts to feel less and less innocent and more and more intrusive. Especially when there are people who will take advantage of you. People who you wouldn't even expect to.