Lost It All (Michael Clifford)

Confessions.

I'm sorry for not updating sooner and I'm sorry it's short. Thanks for reading!

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May.

It's been 6 days. 6 days since he broke me. I haven't done anything productive. I haven't even got out of bed. I haven't eaten anything. It got to the point where even my brother seems concerned.

I just laid on my bed, mostly crying. I trusted him. I told him everything. I gave myself to him. I loved him. I do love him.

I felt my eyes become heavy from crying, I was about to fall asleep when someone knocked on my door.

"What?" My voice was broken, I hadn't spoke in a while.

"Please, just let me in," my brothers voice came through the wood. He opened the door. When he saw me his eyes filled with guilt. He weakly smiled at me.

"I don't mean to be rude, but what do you want?" I say.

"I want to tell you something," his eyes focused anywhere but me.

"And that would be" my voice broke in the middle of the sentence.

"Well, you see, you're my baby sister. I didn't want you getting involved with someone like Michael, he has hurt a lot of people. I was extremely drunk one night, and, well I texted him. I told him to..." He didn't finish the sentence. His eyes filled with guilt.

"What did you tell him?" My eyes filled up with tears, again.

"I told him to...hurt you...I didn't want you involved with him, May, but now I see, how much he actually loved you. He's been texting me non stop for the last 6 days, telling me how much he loves you and misses you. But he also said that what he write was true. Now I don't know what he wrote but whatever it was it was true. He really didn't have a choice about this. If you're going to hate anyone hate me. I don't care, you already hate me anyway, so just hate me." I couldn't believe what he just said. I let a tear slip. I turned away from him, I had nothing to say. I think he understood because he left.

I sat in silence, crying. If it was Eliot who told him to do it, why was the letter, so emotional? He told me he would end up hurting me in the future. He said that he didn't want to hurt me. I was so confused.

My phone started to ring. I looked at the caller ID and it said unknown. I answered the phone.

"H-hello" I was hesitant.

"Hi" I squeezed my eyes shut at the sound of his voice, he sounded so, broken.

"Michael?" I whispered.

"May, I'm so, so, so sorry, please, you have to believe me, I'm sorry." His voice broke at the end. I started crying again.

"He told me" was all I managed to say.

"What? Wait, Eliot told you?" He seemed confused.

"Yeah" I sighed. "Michael, what was the rest of the note about, if Eliot told you to break up with me, what was the point in all the emotion?" I shocked myself.

"I don't know, I guess, something inside of me told me I was going to hurt you in the long run and I didn't want that to happen, I was thinking about that before he told me to break up with you, but I wasn't planning on breaking up with you. I'm willing to change for you, if you still want to..umm..be with me..." I wasn't prepared for those words. He was willing to change for me? I don't understand.

"Michael, my brother told me that you have hurt a lot of people. What did he mean by that?"

"I have hurt people, in the past. I don't know why. I really don't know. But all I know is I really don't want to hurt you." He sounded so fragile. "May, please meet me at the park in 20 minutes, if you don't come I know you don't forgive me." As the phone clicked. He hung up.

Is it worth it? I climb out of bed look in the mirror.

"It better be" I whisper, as I begin getting ready.

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Thank you guys so much for reading. It means a lot! Love you all!!