CHASING HER

we have to tell you something

Indian weather was never my favorite,it's just too hot and never too cold. I was happy when I could skip summer here for a few years. I was already full on sweating and I wasn't even outside of the airport for more than 10 minutes waiting for my cab.

I wanted to surprise my family and reached one day earlier instead I was shocked looking at all my relatives scattered around the house. Some faces I didn't even remember,they are that distant.

"What - Jen ! Baby you are here today? Oh wow come here". My mother came rushing and pulled me in a bear hug, I couldn't almost breath.

"Mom,can't bre-athe". Her hug loosened immediately but she didn't let go. Taking her sweet time she  pushed me away a little and I finally got to take a good look at her. She looked a little old,but still the most beautiful woman in the world.

"Oh Mom, don't cry now. I wanted to surprise you all,but looks like the surprise was for me". What was going on? Why our all the distant relatives will be present here? To welcome me home? Nahh.

"Hey maa, why are all these people here?" I whispered, hoping no one else heard me.

"They are here for you.  Now come on baby". I didn't even a single chance to sit down or to take the most important shower of my life, literally,after spending 27 hours in a flight people are bound to think that. But no.

Instead I was passed around the room , people hugging me, praising me and me taking their blessings reluctantly and smiling at them . Could the tell I was faking it?
I hope so.

The house was a mess, my small cousins running around chasing each other and my cousins of similar after group smirking at me, as if they knew something I didn't.

Assholes .

My ,uncle and Dada saheb weren't home. As usual they were busy but I was assured they'll be back within an hour .

What felt like a very long time,my mom took some pity on me and I was finally left alone in my room.

My room looked like the same as I left it. It really felt good to be home. My bed was calling me but before that I needed my shower .

The house looked a lot calm in the evening. Only my immediate family was at home. Apparently my relatives went for sight seeing and stuff. Any ways it felt good not having all those hyper energy surrounding me.

"Go meet Dada saheb,he's in the study". My father finally left me after Patting my head,like he used to do when I was still little. I looked at him properly standing in front of me,after so many days. Our eyes gazing at each other. We had the same eyes . "Go,he's waiting".

Even after shifting from Jaipur,years later my Dada saheb stayed the same,strict and firm . But inside he's a big softie, always bringing me chocolates and my cuddle bears.

I knocked on the door and waited. After a minute,he called me inside. Instead of just hugging him, I touched his feet , taking his blessings.
"Come, take a seat daughter". All his attention was on me , closing the lid of the laptop,he took my hand and we settled on the white couch in the study. I could remember how many times I sneaked inside while he was working and slept on this couch so my mom won't force me to drink milk.

We talked a lot, about a lot of things I did . Things I achieved ,things I learned. He wanted me to join the family business,but I wanted to do things on my own.

We laughed together, Sharing jokes.
Then my parents came inside with my uncle and Aunt. The atmosphere changed immediately. Dada saheb became serious. Something was happening.

"Come here Jen!" My mother took my hand and now we were sitting side by side . "Baby we have to tell you something. I know this may come as a surprise to you,but first listen to us. "

Okay.This conversation is sounding so one sided.

"Jen,your marriage is fixed. You will get engaged tomorrow and you are getting married next week,on Friday".

What the fuck. I mean I always knew I will have an arrange marriage so it wasn't a news to me,but how could they even decide my groom without asking me and what's the rush? Why so fast? I was seething inside in rage.

"Why maa? Why wasn't I ever asked or why didn't I have any say in this?" My tears were coming, I took deep breaths and started counting 1-10 in my head,but nothing worked. They still came.

"Because you don't have a say in this. Your great grandpa had his last wish that the first daughter from our family will marry his friend's first grandson. We are honouring his wish". My father was talking now as if it's the only thing that mattered.

What about me? I wanted to shout.

Maybe my maa understood my frustration,"Jen,you Know this boy. You used to play with him when you two were kids. Trust me baby, you'll be happy. You will see him tomorrow".

I wanted to run away. Seriously. I wanted to shout, I wish I could tell them it was my life,they had no business playing with it. But looking at their crestfallen faces I couldn't say a single word.

I stood up, without any backward glance I walked to my room and closed the door behind me. I felt alone, truly alone.

Why was all these things happening to me? First I got drunk and lost my virginity to someone who didn't even care, now I am getting married to some unknown guy in a week . Oh I was getting engaged tomorrow. Now I understood why all those relatives were here,they came to attend my marriage.

Wow and I had no idea about my own marriage.

Could it get any more worse?