The worst

Guilt trip.

The next morning I woke up with the biggest headache ever! I didn't know why or how it came to be but i was not feeling the whole school thing. I now realized that i slept through the whole afternoon and night. I guess my mom tried to wake me up but i didn't.
I have to go to school and face him every morning.
Holy shit. BRYSON.
I totally forgot to call him. but it should be fine right? after all we really just met yesterday and he seems to care so much and it's very confusing.

My mom walks in my room thinking i'm still asleep.
"Hey bree wake- Oh honey you're up!"
she smiled.
"Yes I'm not feeling so well, but I can't miss school already, we just started yesterday." I flopped back in bed.
"I know honey but it's already Friday so you'll have all weekend to hang out and chill." she smiled and rubbed my hair.

She kisses my forehead goodbye and said she'd be waiting downstairs for breakfast.

I have realized that drake does not love me.. and not one bit. I don't know why he acts like he does but it is very frustrating, I am tired of having to deal with emotional stress when it comes to dealing with him. Nobody knows but he has some type of issue with everyone. He acts like he like and is friends with everyone but HE DOES NOT.

As I get ready I hear my phone going off. It's drake.. why wont he leave me alone.

I didn't answer the phone and went back to get ready for school. I was thinking I could call Bryson while I get ready and explain to him what happened yesterday. But I realized I would see him in class so I went on about my business.

I walked to my sisters room to see if she was ready but I heard her and my mom downstairs, so I closed her door and headed to the kitchen.

"Good morning sis." she smiled.

"Hey honey, do you want some breakfast before you go to school?" Mom flipped her pancake.

"Hey guys, and no mama I'm okay, not really hungry." I replied.

I was not feeling well , and I didn't meant that I was sick. I just don't want to deal with drake at school.

My sister and I said bye to my mom and headed to school. when we got there we saw drake parked close to where we park everyday. I started to feel a headache coming just from thinking about how I was about to see him.

"let's go hun." my sister smiled and passed me my backpack from the back seat.

I smiled and got off the car, but as I was about to lock my car I saw Bryson coming towards me. I smiled so hard for some reason.

"hey beautiful girl.''

"hey bry, good morning. I apologize for not calling you last night, drake was at my house when I got there and so I made him leave and I went to sleep.'' I half smiled

"I understand, its all good.'' he smiled.

We walked to class and sat down. we started talking about how we thought the school year would go.

Drake walked into class and looked at me. he didn't say a word, he just looked at me. he seemed upset. and I care so much. 3 years of my life were spent with that boy. But I can't let his face fool me, he doesn't care about me as much as he says he does because he makes me feel like I am always in competition with other girls. and that is something I don't want.
class went by and drake didn't speak to me at all. he left class without even speaking to that other girl hannah. I'm not sure If I want to text him or something just to make sure he's okay.. but then again he never checked up on me. he just wanted me to believe he was sorry for whatever he had done that time. crazy right?

"So you wanna tell me what's going on with you today?" Bryson asked,

"We had been dating for 3 years and honestly after a while, he started to make me feel like I had to compete with all these girls for some reason. I never understood why though... but things progressively got worse and I fell in love with him harder so it was super hard to just walk up and leave him you know?"

"Yeah shorty I feel you, my ex was super toxic to me so it took me a while to let her go and move on." He said

"Well I had enough of it so I'm just over it at this point. I don't feel anything right now..."

We both smiled and the rest of the class went on.

As I was walking to my car, Drake was waiting by my door and I felt a knot in my stomach...

"Hey, can we talk please?" He asked.

"I don't really think that's a good idea right now drake, maybe we can talk later when we both feel okay." 

"NO BIZ. I want to talk now, please... I'm begging you."

"FINE. Get I'll meet you at my house."

On the way home I felt like I was going to throw up. How can he do this to me and what is it with me feeling bad about it that Im actually allowing us to talk and AT MY HOUSE AT THAT.

I pulled into the driveway and saw his car was already there. I got out of the car and proceeded to walk into the house.

"come on, let's make this quick please, I'm exhausted," I said. 

he locked his car and walked in behind me.

we sat on the couch and I laid my head back.

"I just want to say that it hurts that you wanted us to break up... I understand we have problems but it is things we can fix. we have been dating for 3 years and months about to be 4 years and it makes me feel like you don't care enough to fix it..." he said.

WOW. JUST WOW.

I sat up immediately and looked in his eyes,

"Don't you dare say that I don't care, I fucking care. Do you know how long I have put up with this? this is crazy to me... Leave please."

"But.."

"I SAID LEAVE DRAKE."

"I understand but please let me explain to you-"

"NO LEAVE NOW."

As I slammed my door in his face all the tears emerged from my face.

How dare he say that I didn't want to fix anything...

I got my phone out and texted bryson.

"Hey bry, can you please come over to my house? I dont really feel okay right now and I honestly just need a hug.."

SENT.

Well fuck, I did not think this through.. I've known the boy for a few days and we are not that close.. oh well I guess.

"Hey beautiful,  just send me your address and I'll be on the way."

My stomach started feeling weird.. he is actually coming

After a while he finally showed up. 

"Hey biz"

"Hey bry, let's go sit on the couch."

We were sitting down and a movie was playing on tv.

"So what's going on?" He asked.

"He was waiting for me by my car after school and said that he wanted to talk... and honestly I didn't want to but I ended up agreeing and told him to meet me at my house. He started talking and basically said that he did not understand why I'm giving up after all these years.."

"I told him that I've put up with so much and that I've had enough.."

He looked at me. Bryson didn't say a word but he looked at me and examined everything that was coming out of my mouth.

"Well, that didn't seem like a very big talk huh.. so what are you going to do now?" He asked me.

"Not sure but I want nothing to do with him if we are being completely honest right now." I leaned my head back on the couch.

Bryson pulled me closer to him and started playing with my hair.