in which past meets future in an alternate reality; how they existed not as immortal beings but as mere mortals with an all-seeing eye, and where they meet to create everlasting time
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ACT II, SCENE II
Some people call it aura, others call it energy, qi, and the rest do not it exists. Those who know of its presence sense it as an intense, overwhelming darkness that consumes a soul. Carlyle knows it as shadows. Shadows that follow you everywhere you go, as long as the light shines, it is there, and when the lights go out, a part of it fuses with the soul, its black ink seeping into your hearts— you will never be the same.
He understands it as the past, not history nor facts. He remembers when he fell in love with history; it was a dreary Monday morning, the sun was well hidden behind the looming thunderclouds, casting a gentle shadow over the town. He had not thought much of the subject before, merely hearing, not listening, to seniors lamenting about the dully factual nature of history. When he sat down for his first history lesson, he stared upon his history teacher for the year, Ms Juniper, a young, fresh-faced lady who he knew, from the way she carried herself, was new to the school. He had his reserves about her, he had not thought that she would be able to carry the weight of teaching history because she had been too young, too fresh to life, nothing like what history represented; of age, of desolation, of despair. When she started the lesson with a documentary, not the textbook, he had been puzzled. When the documentary ended, he became even more puzzled.
"History is not about what had once happened, it is about what has to happen. Confused? That is alright. If history was only about the facts, the specific chronological sequence of events, how the Cold War started, how it ended, why not call it hi-fact instead of hi-story? The truth is, history is a story, it a tale of men, women, children, of the world, how they came together, how they fell apart. It is about how we are who we are today, it is about the lessons learnt from wrath, greed, lust and ego. It is about acknowledging the past and understanding how it affects the present and the future. We learn through history how we should be, and teaches us how we would be in time to come. The thing is, no one cares what happened centuries ago if it had no impact on us, we care about what happened because it created ripples in our time and how we would never be the same. It's okay if you do not understand this still, but if you follow me through this year, I assure you that you will."
And he did. But those years that followed, the teachers, the lecturers that came and went after her, they came to overturn that sentiment. They preached about three things: the event, the impact, the solution. Nothing about what Ms Juniper had been about: the story, the pain, the hope. And then he learnt, that he and Ms Juniper had been the same, they fell for what they had seen beneath the shadows, behind the dreadsome facts and the history, they fell for the past. And they, were never the same.
He picked up a job at a small cafe not too far from the university. It was a nice job, it paid well and the people that came by were kind and polite. Today, he was expecting Gideon, of whom was due to introduce him to his boyfriend. It came to Carlyle as a surprise, when Gideon approached him two days ago and told him that his now official boyfriend was going to visit him for the week. He was shocked, not because Gideon had a boyfriend, but at Gideon's kind gesture of offering to introduce him to Carlyle. Though he and Gideon were now considered friends, he was not sure where he landed on the friend scale. He was happy though, that Gideon considered him as a friend that he wanted to involve in his private life.
The cafe was quiet at this time of day, well, for most of the time of the day. Those who had stayed beyond the lunch hour were the regulars, who he has noticed, tend to spend their late afternoons and early evenings sipping tea or coffee while simply enjoying the relaxed ambience. He wiped down the counter for the umpteenth time and checked the clock for the time once more. He had not needed to, for the next moment, a soft bell rang as the door to the cafe was pushed open.
"Carlyle! How is my second man!" Gideon cheered merrily as he ushered a young man forward. Carlyle came out from behind the counter to welcome them. "Hey, Gideon and..." "Present." The young man offered his hand to him, which Carlyle firmly shook, trying to ignore the uncontrollable shiver that ran down his spine. Carlyle observed the man before him, eyes blurring as he attempted to sense the shadows that followed him. Like a flip of the switch, Carlyle knew when he had seen Present. This was the man Gideon was with that night, he was certain for the shadows that followed him were identical. The use of 'follow' was intentional, it was not 'cling' nor 'linger', the shadows trailed behind him but never enshrouded him.
"Come, lets sit," Gideon suggested, guiding Present to an empty table. The gesture did not go unnoticed by Carlyle. He slid into the seat opposite them and took Present in. Present had a good set of features, a blend of harsh and soft lines that paradoxically complemented each other, instead of cancelling out the beauty of each. A mess of short curled dark blond hair sat upon his head but his eyes... There was a milkiness in his eyes that resembled the frothy blue green waves that gently wash up the beach at low tide. Carlyle did not find them disturbing at all. He found an unexplainable calmness and peace wash upon him as he looked upon Present, feeling a gentle stirring in his chest. Present smiled at him, a full smile with teeth, that somehow reminded him of Gideon; it was the smile of living in the moment and making the best of life.
"Well, isn't my boyfriend delectable?" Gideon teased, raising his eyebrows mischievously at Carlyle. Present chucked beside him. "If I said yes, you would most probably assault me, and if I said no, you would probably also assault me. So, I think there is no answer to your question." Carlyle replied smartly, eyes still trained on Present. Gideon turned his head toward Present and with a deflating sigh, he fell back into the cushions. "He's judging you for your eyes, too." Gideon whispered to Present, pain evident in his voice. Present shook his head. "He isn't. He is trying to understand it, that's all." He said, assuring his lover.
"I was born with visual impairment, but I am not blind." Present said, laying his arms on the table. "I may not be able to see the way one usually do. But that does not mean I see less. In actual fact, I see more because I look not through my eyes but through my heart, my touches..." Carlyle opened his mouth, wanting to assure him that he was not judging him for his eyes and all that came with it but Present, somehow sensing this, waved his hand, dismissing his interjection. "I think you understand it. You don't see the world the same way others do. You see something much much more. I see the same. It empowers me, it gives me strength, it gives me energy, it gives me the vitality to live in this moment and create the best tomorrow and treasuring the glory of yesterday.
When I was little and detested the way I was, my mother told me the reason why she named me Present. She said, that in the present, we are blind, blind to the future and to the past. We live in this instantaneous, fleeting second of eternity where we disregard the last and next second to bathe in this feeling of 'now'. In the present, we are blind to the foolishness of our follies and blind to the consequences of our actions. That makes the present beautiful, because in present, we are neither in the past nor the future, but in a state of in-betweeness where the lines of past and future begin to fade. She said I, yes, am visually impaired, 'blind' but am only as blind as the present. She said it does not and would never make me less of a person, and hence named me 'Present', to remind me that I, like present, is beautifully blind."
Carlyle's heart ached. There was something about this moment that caused sadness and joy to well up in him. He felt streaks of tears trailing down his cheeks but he did not mind. "You are indeed beautiful, Present. You have a wholesome soul, a bright heart and a clear sight. You have a gift, Present, that lives in your heart, and please know that no one, no event, no time, would ever be able to erase. I am thankful to be able to have met you in this lifetime, Present, and I am happy to know that Gideon's with you." Carlyle said, sincere words tumbling out of his mouth.
He watched as tears welled up in Present's eyes and felt his hand lay over his. Carlyle instinctively laced his fingers through his and gave him a soft smile. This was living in the present, this was feeling love for a man he has just met and falling in love with a moment. This was the present.
