in which past meets future in an alternate reality; how they existed not as immortal beings but as mere mortals with an all-seeing eye, and where they meet to create everlasting time
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ACT I, SCENE IV
They say beauty comes from within, that it radiates from a kind heart, a gentle soul, a nurturing being. They say beauty is beyond the surface. It needs to be dug to be found, needs to be polished to be presentable. They also say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, that it is a matter of taste or opinion. He thinks beauty is expressed. Beauty is seen in one's behaviour, actions, even simple facial expressions and words. Beauty radiates, and it forms a soft glow around the beauty. He can see a soft, warm aura bathing her, and the room is illuminated with her shine. He can see galaxies in her eyes and stars lining her cheeks, trailing down and down, till it gently brushes her collarbone. Glitter and gold is sprinkled on the crease of her eyes, making her seem more out-of-world than she was. There was an invisible pull, that drew him to her, a magnetic force attracting him, that left him out of breath. He could hear someone talking and only later did it register in his brain that it was himself who had been speaking. Everything else might have been a blur but he heard her name, loud and clear, crystal clear, he heard her say that her name was Delphia. That was enough to jolt him and tug him back to shore. She was not Rosine. She was not his girlfriend. How could he be attracted to someone else when he had a brilliant girlfriend of his own?
A door creaked open and this time it revealed his queen, the queen of his heart. For a lady fit to wear royal silk and national treasures, Rosine was dressed in her simple pyjamas. Her face was barren of makeup, revealing swollen, puffy eyes which Carlyle knew he caused. Although she stood there, free of her usual accessories, he thought she was beautiful. He liked her natural; rid of those caked layers she painted on her face. Even though wearing no makeup meant he could see the dark eyebags, acne scars and fresh pimples, he still thought she was beautiful. This too was a fact that could never be changed. And it too, was a fact Rosine never accepted. She wished she was blond, or even brunette, instead of the redhead she was. She said the rosy blush her hair gave her clashed with her complexion. He could not agree less.
Rosine asked Delphia to leave and there left Rosine and him, and the elephant in the room. Slowly, he pulled out the bouquet of roses from behind him and presented it to her. The corners of his lips pulled upwards and he could not describe the way pure adoration bottled up in him. In his mind, he could see their third date. He had brought her to a fancy restaurant in their home state and he had so many butterflies in his stomach that he wondered how his dinner could fit in there with it. He had wanted to make their third date a memorable one because he believed in the power of three, and believed that if he made their third date unforgettable, they would last forever. Her mega-watt smile and gasps she gave him when he presented the flowers had been etched into his mind. Now, he was ready for a re-enactment. Only it never happened. She received his bouquet with a single hand wordlessly and emotionlessly. She then proceeded to throw his bouquet on her bed. He looked up at her in shock. He could not believe his eyes. How could she throw his bouquet like that?
"Let's break up. I'm done. I'm done being with you," she stated simply, as if their relationship meant nothing, like he meant nothing. He stood there speechlessly, refusing to believe that this was happening. She bent down and pulled out a brown cardboard box from under her bed. Not bothering to dust off the layer of dirt on it, she handed it to him. "Rosine... Don't do this to me. Tell me what's wrong. I'll fix it. We can fix it," he pleaded. She shook her head violently. "The box I gave you, it contains everything you gave me. Take it back. I don't want it." He placed the box on the floor and walked towards her. He reached up and cupped her face. "Look me in the eye, Rosine. Tell me you want to break up with me," he begged. He could tell she did not want the breakup as much as he did. Her lips quivered, and she could not raise her eyes to meet his. Did that not scream reluctance? "I know we disagreed on some things, but we work so well together. I love you, Rosine. I never want to lose you. I can see us long term, Rosine. We could make that happen together─" "That's the problem! You see our relationship as so much more than just a normal relationship! I don't want to be with you long term. Don't you get it? I'm not looking for a life partner or someone to marry! I just want to have fun. And you don't want to sleep with me? Obviously, you have gotten this whole thing wrong. You were meant to be just a fling! Someone I could have fun with and someone that would sleep with me! I didn't sign up for this. I never signed up for you," she screamed angrily. Hot tears leaked from her eyes and her face flushed a deep red.
As if burnt, Carlyle moved away from her. She looked like the fire. While he backed away from the fire, she took huge strides towards him. Soon, it was him who was cornered, backed against the wall, with no way to go except forward, toward the fire. She shoved him in the chest and pointed so many fingers in his face that he lost count. "You... You... I hate you so much. Do you have any idea how hard it was to fake happiness? To fake liking being with you when all I want is to run away from you!" He felt as if he had been just slapped in the face. It was one thing to say there was a break down in their relationship and an another to say that she never liked him, that she had been putting up a show all this time. If his heart was not shattered into smithereens, he must be no human. The look on her face, the way she curled her lips as if she was out for blood, the way she looked at him like he was the prey and she was the predator. He did not know how to react. Should he be angry at her for playing with his feelings? Should he be trying to get her back and insisting that all she has said were nothing but lies?
But what he felt was worse. It was solemn resignation and acceptance, as if deep inside him he had already known, that this was going to happen. As if he long knew that he was not the one for her and she was not the one for him. In this way, he failed her. He did not fight back and neither did he fight for her. He lost all the fight in him. Whether it was with Gideon or Rosine, he could not find it within him to try. He could not find it within him to try to let them see what he saw, because he felt as if they were standing on separate cliffs, and they had been shouting over the wind all the while, for the other to hear. In a way, he was tired. He was tired of being put down, tired of being a disappointment, tired of being not enough. In this way, he must have shocked her. He had always been the fighter, even from the start. He was the one who chased her, who asked her out, who confessed first. It never mattered to him that he was the one fighting for the relationship. To him, by being with her was enough. He did not mind the compromise, the sacrifices. To him, having her was worth it. But now he started to realise exactly how much he had sacrificed for her. It was not just the material objects but also emotionally. How he had given her his heart to hold and how she never held it, how she never gave hers to him. How he had risked it all for her, and how he ended up with nothing but his broken heart.
He wished he had the last say. However, it seemed as if it was a power he was destined never to have. He had wanted to pick the box up from the ground and walk out from this room. This room that suffocated him with the memories of her, of them. As always, he never was the one who left first. He was always the one who gets left behind. Only difference was that this time, it was Rosine who had left him, the relationship and the room, leaving behind him, his broken heart and a box filled with memories of them.
