I have been closing in on who I am...
But, somehow, right before I reach the last corridor of my being. Just right before I name myself, I disappear; evaporate into a space of vast possibilities. Molded into shapes and painted with colors I have yet to understand, yet to name and comprehend.
And it's circles upon circles of these events; all seemingly the same, yet the next is more complex than the one before. A spiral of knowing and unknowing; folding and unfolding.
Have I gotten mad?!
When will my search end?
I ask someone... I ask myself as if the voice inside was a separate being.
But no answer.
Just another space of possibilities...
And I'm back to zero again. Conversing with my inner self; an exchange of insight between my outer and my inner.
Still no answer, just another vailed attempt. I have failed every single time. When will I learn? Never. This loop inside me will forever be born and destroyed at the same time...
I am lost, I am lost.
RING! RING!
WAKE UP! WAKE UP!
07:30 AM, the grudging clock red and rang. I have slammed my slouchy hand on it; good, I love it when you are silent.
Another life elongating nightmare has come to pass, and the next one to come in just a few waking hours. Argh. I have had them so frequently that I have forgotten that people rarely have recurring dreams. I would have considered myself a liar if I had said that these dreams,- feelings of self destruction have not taken a toll on my well being. I had been slowly thinning away, further away from my goal with every attempt of self discovery. Damn. My life had felt like it had gotten longer, more aggravating and aggressive.
Dogshit!
Nothing I do is ever right.
It has been year 2315; you would have imagined that they have figured out how dreams and the subconscious work by now.
But no.
No, they have not.
The 21st Century, which has become just a far away dream now; had been called The age of Technological Manifestation! People had believed that that would just be the beginning of great tech discoveries; Machines would aid Humans and replace their labour. Hopefully, Humans would be the ones handling the machines. But the fear of them taking over the fleshy planet had infested the human race, slipped into every pore, and had perplexed every brilliant mind of the time.
And just like every fear; when you feed it, it grows.
The technology had progressed and the fear with it; we have been growing technologically but at a much slower pace than we had originally planned, for they did not yet have the solution for the developing AI's free will. It had been much smarter than a Human, with easy access to any memory, any technique it had ever been taught.
IT was a source of ALL known information in our observing Universe.
We, machines of flesh and bone haven't been able to do such things, to wire actions in our brain through sheer will. So, the tech development slowed down, went in a different direction, which had been crippling for the AI's brain development.
We have become solely industrial.
Every cyber story of that time had been a perfect portrait of the world to come...
