Me, Bubbles and the death of Nora Woods

Chapter one- introduction.

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Sometimes I think I'm dying.

I'm not actually dying of course, even I am clever enough to figure that out and even though I many times might not believe myself deep down I know I'm just fine.

No brain tumours, no cancer and certainly not the plague- that's what I tell myself every morning, every night and every waking second of my existence and sometimes I'm afraid I'm going mad- completely bonkers because no sane person would fear as much as I do, right?

I don't know how it is in anyone else's mind, I'm just me- just Nora woods and that's all I'll ever be.
I was born as Nora Woods and I'll probably die as Nora Woods, if I don't get married (highly unlikely) or change my name (more likely)
But no matter what name of identity I'll make for myself I'll always be Nora Woods deep down, with all the fears and all the flaws, and I've come to terms with that.

I'll always be the same just-a-tad crazy girl who's afraid of her own shadow. Who's terrified of wasps, cancer and pregnant people, pregnancy in general really.

And if I made a list of each and every one of my fears I'd probably be here all day, but I'll make a short one just to clarify exactly how much of a wussy I am;

Wasps
Pregnancy
Cars
Toilets
Cancer
Alcohol
Boys
Reptiles
Dying
The cold
The doctor
Publicity
Popcorn
Depression
The dentist
Nazis
Commitment
Blow dryers
Bumblebees
Babies
Soda and puppies

Yes, you heard that right, I'm deadly afraid of puppies, what kind of inhumane monster is scared of puppies? Nora Woods is.

And that tiring list was only a fraction of what I'm really scared of and I could make it easy for you and instead list the things I'm not scared of but hey, if I have to suffer so do you.

But all this is besides the point.

As a human, I really enjoy pitying myself and I do think we all do. I like to think that I have it bad but I know that I'm one of the luckier lives in this universe.

Because how am I to know that every single person around me isn't suffering tenfold as much as I am every waking second? As I said before, I can never know.
But what I do know is that this is all I'll ever be, so might as well come to terms with it.

I wouldn't go as far as to say I hate myself, because I really don't, I can be really funny sometimes and if I squint and punch myself in the face I can look hella hot for a few seconds until my sight returns, but I do hate my mind, because for my whole sixteen year old life I don't think I have ever fully relaxed.

I can go a perfect birthday and be in the middle of blowing out the candles when I suddenly realise- oh wait I have cancer (I don't really) and then a whole week will be ruined.

I have gotten my first period at thirteen and four days later my stupid mind realises that HEY you've been abducted by aliens or something worse and you're now pregnant and also you're gonna die (that actually happened) and even though you get your period regularly you're constantly terrified for about a year, and that's not all now you're also gonna want to vomit at the mere mention of pregnancy for the rest of your life.

And you could have forgotten to wash your hands before eating once and LOOK NOW YOU'RE DEAD.

Every disease of condition that your stupid ears snap up you're convinced you have and for the next three hours you spend your time browsing the web for all kinds of weird sicknesses and their symptoms, convinced you have each and every one of them.

And you hate it.

But you never ever go to a psychologist or even tell your parents about it, because that would be embarrassing and we can't have that now can we.

All that is what you go through living as Nora Woods and you hate it, but despite all that you don't hate Nora Woods, you just hate her brain.
And you can't take yourself seriously, because in your mind you're an old paranoid man who's more or less done with life.

If you relate to anything I said earlier, then congratulations you have Nora-Syndrome, feel free to live your entire life in the narrow space that is your brain with me, yaaay.

But if you much like me are Nora Woods, or anyone really, I'm about to drop a bomb of truth.

Guess what, you're not actually an old man, and you should live your life.

Shocking isn't it? I know, that's exactly what I thought when I heard it yelled at me the first time- and it changed my life.

This is the Story of How Nora Woods started living.

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