Serenade Me

Part 9

On the drive back to the house, Sean glanced into the back seat to see his birthday present and the DnD books. He figured that all of Nate's instruments and the blanket had been put in the trunk. Resting his head against the shoulder of the seat, he told Nate regretfully. "I'm sorry that I left you to pick all the stuff up yourself." Nate kept his eyes focused on the road, giving him a small shrug as he said casually. "It's ok. I don't blame you for wanting to get out of there. Mark helped me take the stuff to the car, after I learned that you had taken off out of the parking lot. I didn't want you getting kidnapped... or lost." Sean let a small smile spread over his lips, than it drained away as he asked a bit spooked. "He didn't see the condom, did he?" Nate snorted, shaking his head. Sean relaxed, mumbling out lightly. "That's good. That last thing I need is for him to give me another lecture about the L.A. fines." 

Nate chuckled to himself, adding out just as softly. "I don't mean to pry... but you've asked him to... do that to you before?" Sean straightened back up in his seat with a heavy sigh, before answering in an undertone. "Ya... We rarely got time together because of the distance between us... So, we were always doing quickies in the back rooms of Pax or Cons. With the occasional hotel room service... but Mark wasn't one for risking public affection. He claimed that he didn't want to risk getting a criminal record over something like that... but I think he just didn't want his fans to see him... with me." Sean's last words fell from his mouth like lead and he slumped down in the seat. Mark had been in a lot of abusive relationships growing up and just the thought of his fans backlashing against him over his sexuality was enough to convince him to leave. 

Sean played with the strands of his ripped up knee jeans, mumbling out in a dead voice. "I proposed to him the night he walked out on me..." Nate's hand slid down the side of the steering wheel as the car slowed at a light. Sean watched Nate look at him with sympathetic eyes, asking very tenderly. "The proposal you did on stage...?" Turning his head away to look out his window, he told him weakly. "No. Not that one. Years after. I was visiting Pax. I was going to have my first solo panel. Mark and I were in the hotel. We had spent the whole night together... By morning, it just slipped out. I thought he'd react differently. Ask me to move in... Instead, I woke up the day of the panel and he was gone. Mark started keeping a distance from me. Shutting me out. Next thing I knew, Amy was in his life and I was just a distant memory." 

Sean stopped playing with the ripped strands to cover his mouth with his hand as he uttered out in a slightly quivering voice. "When Mark flew out with her for Cringemas... Everything just fell apart. Mark and I couldn't stop fighting and Felix just seemed to step in." Sean's throat constricted, causing him to close his eyes to fight off the tears. The car started moving again as Nate told him very softly. "I remember. Everyone seemed to sense that something had happened between you two. It even effected me. Morgan and I ended up separating the next year. I think it caused her distress to see that I was upset over loosing you... again." Sean sniffled lowering his hand to ask him a bit lighter. "Again? How long have you liked me?" Nate chuckled nervously, mumbling out a bit shyly. "Well... I mean. I've watched your videos on and off over the years. But as far as falling for you... Somewhere between my break up with Mat and meeting Cristina. I've lost track of the dates. With all my tours and schedules... It just blurs together after a while."

Sean shifted in his seat to face Nate, sniffling and trying to shift the subject off him by asking curiously. "Speaking of Mat. What happened to you? I never saw you two really have a falling out." Nate let out a heavy sigh, making Sean think that he shouldn't have asked. He was going to tell Nate that he didn't have to answer, but Nate replied rather softly. "We didn't really have a major falling out... More like... We realized a shift in our relationship and ended it." Sean was curious about that. However, he stayed quiet for a bit to see if he'd continue on his own. He didn't want to open a wound that Nate hadn't recovered from. Nate cleared his throat though, continuing on a bit lighter. "Mat and I were good together... but he wanted a family... and I wasn't ready for one. With my career, I just don't have the time. I think it was all my touring that made him feel lonely... Or maybe he just wanted to be a dad that badly. Either way... It had become visible that we were drifting apart. So, we just bowed out."