Mine (Jenlisa)

twenty five.

Lisa's POV~

The darkness receded as I spilled myself inside of her. The world brightened, the shadow gone.

For how long? I didn't care. What mattered was here now.

What mattered was her.

She reached up to me and touched my lips. On her face was something like wonder.

"I love you," she blurted, and began to cry.

Jennie's POV~

"I love you."

The words tumbled from my mouth and I lay there, more surprised that I had said them than surprised that I had felt them. Was it shock that drove me to tears? No, something else. A desperation that had grown inside of me until now, it showed itself.

She didn't say anything. Instead, she stood up, stumbling at the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry," she said.

I'm sorry? I wanted to reach out to her. Why are you sorry? Tears streamed down my cheeks and I was unable to stop them. I felt completely melted, unraveled. She had torn me apart inside and out and I wanted her to turn to me, to hold me together. Instead, she put her head on her hands.

"Please..." I whispered, "Lisa?"

"Why are you crying?" she asked, a hint of frustration in her voice.

I shook my head. Strands of my hair stuck to my cheek, hot, and wet as it was with tears.

"I don't know," I said, "It was wonderful Lisa-"

"And you are crying."

'This is not real!" I sobbed.

There. That was it. That was the thing that made me cry right now. She had split open my heart and I had given it away to an illusion.

The realization shattered me. All around me, the walls spun. She was there, sitting right there. She had touched me, made me feel alive. She had made me feel wanted. She had made me feel loved.

"This is not real," I repeated. Trying to make myself believe what I knew to be the truth. "None of this is real."

"What isn't real?" Her voice was blank, empty. It made me even angrier. I brought my fists down hard, against the mattress they didn't even make a noise. My sobs were hoarse and angry.

"You!"

"I am not real?"

She turned her head slowly, carefully meeting my gaze.

"You are a psychopath," I whispered, "The only person who is ever cared about me is a psychopath."

"Does that make it not real?"

"But you don't care, not really. You don't  are at all about me. I am just a pet to you. I am a prisoner. It's not real."

"You think you have it all figured out kitten."

"I do."

"Well, you are wrong," her voice lifted upward, as though teasing me, My throat burned.

"Tell me it's not true, then. Tell me you care about me."

"What would that serve?"

"It would help me be less lonely."

She turned, stood, her hands loose at both sides. She was naked, but standing over me I thought she looked for all the world like a warrior at the ready. The only thing missing was a knife in her hand.

"I care about you," she replied.

"I don't believe you."

She spread her arms out, palms upward.

"What do you want?"

The air in the room was stale. My whole body rejected it. I curled up on my side, pulling the sheets over my shoulder. I had been so stupid. I had thought that when I reached out to her, she would reach back. But she wasn't human. She is a monster. And because I loved her, I was a monster too.

"Nothing. I don't care."

"You don't care? Not even if I leave the house?"

I know what she was saying. And yet my voice came out monotonous, uncaring. I didn't know if it was me who was speaking, or someone else.

"If you need to kill someone," I said, "Kill me."

Lisa's POV~

I wanted to vomit. I had defiled her, poor girl. I had poisoned her with myself, poisoned her with darkness.

And now she wanted to die.

I pulled my pants back on. Then I took the knife from my drawer. Her eyes didn't widen, but her pupils dilated as she looked at the blade in my hand.

DId she still think that I could kill her?

"I am sorry," I told her. And yes, I was sorry. Guilt wracked me inside, made me sick with dread. She lay there still and naked, tear- streaked. Dirty with my sins. I went to the door.

"No," she said, "Lisa-"

"I'm sorry," the door closed behind me. And the padlock went on the bedroom door.

"No!" she yelled from behind the door. The lock snapped shut with a thick iron clank. Her steps to the door. Her fist pounding.

"No! Lisa! No!"

"I'm sorry," this I said to myself as I walked down the stairs, down again to the basement, down, down.

It was dark on the floor of the basement where I lay down and closed my eyes. The shadow would always be a part of me. I wrapped myself up in shadows and I would not touch anything again. I wouldn't mar the outside world. Hours passed, hours, and hours, and I did not eat, did not drink. I did not deserve release. I'd lied to myself about what I did. The men I killed were monsters, but I was worse than any of them.

I did not deserve anything but darkness.

_____________________

Authornim:

827 word count.

Oh my gaddd!!

//till next time//