My Secondary School Crush

How I fell for him

Soooo...There's this guy I couldn't get off my brain.
We both hated each other so badly, especially in sec 1 and 2. There's this time when I was unfortunately being put as a group with him, and as I thought that everything would be okay, I walked near him and realised that he has been running away, avoiding me. There's this rlly disgusted look I see on his face Every time we made eye contact. Even worse, i rmb baking cookie with my friend for his birthday and he took it, put it on the floor and ran away ( IKR what a bitch) From that day onwards, I tell myself. I will hate him to the core and I hoped we never knew each other.

When it was sec 3. I realise that i was in a class full of people that once bullied me plus him, the guy I hated. I kept telling myself that It will be hard to communicate, and that I'm going to be depress and shit.
Surprisingly, things happened.
As days goes by, it was then his birthday. Wasn't sure what I was thinking but, me and my friend went to get biscuit. I tell her and myself " if he accepts my biskuit. We will be friends forever " .
I threw the biscuit to him like tossing a basketball. He caught it. On top of it , it says " happy birthday!"
I was actually expecting him to reject my biskuit. I mean, the last time we communicate were the arguments in sec 2.
We didn't talk until 20 sept ( I believe ) which is his birthday. That's why I thought he may still hate me. But he didn't, after he received it, he smiled ( I'm assuming Cuz I didn't dare to look at him) and said " thanks!" I added exclamation mark because I assume he was happy. Man I was happy that we are not enemies anymore.

Soon, it's sec4 this year.
I got chosen as the president. And surprisingly he got chosen as the vice president. Initially I was very bothered that we will be working together. As I mention, it is very hard for us to get along. Although i couldnt rmb, i bet we had aruguemtns in sec 3 too.
However, it was Okay, although I was annoyed that he is being irresponsible doing his duty, and he constantly thinks that he's correct, he still is a nice guy. Many times I was being picked by my English teacher, everyone kept quiet, and even claimed that it was my fault. It was him that stood up for me, most of the time. I didn't feel anything at first, everything felt just like friends. He is Someone I didn't put much attention on. As days goes by, I start to annoy him by text. I like to say " bonding time!" And he would entertain me. Still I didn't have feelings.

And soon he sat beside me through out 3/4 of my sec4 life. Every day without fail, he will annoy the shit out of me. Kick my chair , flip my bottle , push his duty to me and even kick me.
But there are times I make stupid stories and joke to scare and annoy him. (We're even now) Soon people start shipping us, calling us couple and many names. He's a very egoistic person, or I can say he loves his face. He hate it when people tease about love with him ( I guess ? Because everytime I tease him back with a "bcuz I like u" he would ignore me and we instantly become stranger for the whole day)
His friends then also start asking me if I ever liked him, I myself always tell myself that I will never fall for a malay, they are just not attractive to me. I told his friends the same thing. I'm not trying to be racist ( I'm srs la. Tho i hate my malay friends. HAHA JOKES) but I rlly just find them unattractive. Like, not my type.

Strange things or i can say feelings, started happening. One day, he was annoying me just like many other days, but as soon as i got home and was getting ready to sleep, the scene of him disturbing me just couldn't get off my head. It's Like, I like it. But still I hated him for throwing so much work to me as well as hurtful words that was directed at me.

One day, I was listening to my friend talking about her crush and I was wondering how was it like to have a crush again, since the last time i had one was 11, and it lasted for 5 years. Damn. I asked my friend how to like someone and she was like " just talk about him everyday "
So I'm like hmm , mayb I should try to think about him and talk about things he did to me since he's the only guy I communicate with alot compared to others.

Soon, shit happened.

I couldn't stop thinking about him since we communicate everyday, I start to like it even when I'm near him. We're just like buddies. But not a close one. He's very mysterious, I doubt he ever share about his stuffs and secrets to others. The period of time I was crushing on him, I thought to myself that It is just infatuation, besides I still hate him as we're still vice and president. I thought mayb I just admired him. Even my friends said so. I get so triggered at the fact that he's acting so big. I'm just jealous, and it's bad. But still everytime we talk , I smile ( or even laugh) .

Now that it's the last day of school, I wonder how I will forget him after we graduate. This 2 crushes caught my heart with the same reason, by annoying me. Since it took me 5 years to forget my ex crush, I pray hard my current feelings won't stay this long. Many of you may think that " it's Okay,you won't be seeing him anymore " But I did for my ex crush. I still had feelings for him 3 years straight even though I didn't see him at all (mayb a few times) . So I always tell my friends " damn, another 5 damn years ". On a side note, they do not have the looks to me, but they are just so attractive (omg why!!) . Honestly I feel that I only go for the heart( not complimenting myself hehe). And how I wish I fell for him for his looks instead. I'm always telling my friends that if I were to fall for his looks, mayb as day goes by I will forget how he look like. Unfortunately, I fell for his actions and our memories. Damn, yall know how memories is so hard to be forgotten and that There will be feelings about them even though u couldn't exactly remember what happened.

I told my friends that after those that knows I like him knew all the sweet little things he did that gave me false hope ( or mayb I'm just feelin maself ), I will get over it and try not to think about him. Not sure if I should write about how he treats me tho ( like in super detailed shit) , because it'll be so damn long. It's like a half a year thing. damn I feel like a writer. But I mean this memory is good. They all say my love life is like a drama.