The Fuck Bet || Jimin FF

× Chapter 12 - Bonnie And Clyde ×

"I hope you know, I never meant to hurt you with that.", he started to get a bit more serious now. Rose and Yoongi were shopping together and got into her room with the alcohol.

The more of it circulated in their blood, the looser they became and fooled around as they used to.
Unfortunately they had to start talking about everything at some point.

"The first time Noah kissed me I took a glass of water in the kitchen when I came over to chill with you. I haven't really explored or questioned my sexuality at the time, and I actually owe him much for that."

Rose listened attentively and played with the fuzz on her shirt. She wondered how it could be that she hadn't noticed such a big thing that happened right in front of her the whole time. "At some point we were official and somehow became something serious. I wanted to tell you, but he asked me to not do it."

Yoongi had already expected the frown on her face. "We continued to meet secretly and although I nearly died because I couldn't tell you, I respected his wish. I don't know exactly why he didn't want to tell you that he was gay, maybe it was because I was the one he fucked and he was ashamed of me, I don't know."

Rose could see that this was an issue that had burdened him for some time. He really seemed to be looking for the mistakes and Problems only by himself. "Why should he be ashamed of you? He should've been proud to have someone like you.", Rose said encouragingly, smiling softly. Yoongi pinched her cheek and murmured a low "You bootlicker."

"Well, later on he cheated on me several times and didn't bother to hide it. I think he never really loved me, he didn't care how I felt. I alone was never enough for Noah."

"I wish I could've been there for you." Rose said with a sad look and Yoongi nodded. "Me too, believe me. I felt terrible, cheated, worthless, unloved. I needed you but I couldn't talk to you and whenever I was at your house I saw him again. It was a dark time for me."

Yoongi drank another shot and tried to suppress the emerging memories. It felt like an eternity and yet it had so much power over him and he hated it. He wanted to cut Noah out of his life, but he was like a drug to him. Dangerous and unhealthy, but when he was with him, he felt high and incredibly good.

"After that the time came when I was sleeping with so many people just to get him out of my head. I needed affection, longing and the feeling of being good enough. But ironically none of them could give it to me.", Yoongi said bitterly. "I am a whore and trying to mend my soul by fucking everyone in my circle."

"You don't have to justify the way you cope with it, Yoongi. He broke you and no one has the right to judge about how you're going to rebuild yourself. You're not a whore.", Rose said in a serious tone, hoping her words would reach Yoongi. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, it's the truth."

"So now you know why I haven't told you all these years. I'm sorry that you feel betrayed, he always said he would tell you sometime...", Yoongi concluded and Rose nodded.

"Noah has never been a person who consistently stuck to his word. I'll talk to him soon, I even have to.", his best friend replied, thinking of the money she was trying to earn for Jimin.

Although she hadn't talked to him for months, she still started a new job as a waitress to somehow be able to give him money. Rose had always secretly put it in his locker and she didn't even know if he knew it was her, but that didn't matter to her.

Every day she had looked at Jimin and exhaled relieved when he appeared unharmed and healthy to dance lessons. It meant what she did had an effect and that was enough to keep her going, even if she was more than exhausted.