the hitchhikers guide to DARUDE SANDSTORM (based on a true story)

chapter 2

martin prized the tee in his hands.

"ive have been looking everywhere for u."

he threw a fridge at one of the indians. the indian threw his cloak off and turned out to be telemarketeroo7, the whitest windows support #yourcomputerhasavirus person.

"would you like to buy a phone?" the telemarketer threw a nokia at him. everything stopped. time froze, the nokia suspended in the air. he wondered what was happening then realised;

he didn't know his own name. he didn't know. he was deemed 'he' from creation. it was time to find his name, and unveil his true purpose.

so off he went walking into the white distance. he suddenly fell. he fell into a land of wonder. all he saw was fluffy nyan cats eating hotdogs. one came up to him, with a long sushi beard on his chin.

he asked the cat "can i have one?"

the cat nodded and gave him one. he gobbled it with such ferocity a lion or donut would be impressed.

"i am master sushi wushi tushi, headmaster of the pinkpoop turtle dojo for the wild art of kakaremasenfutariohitariwashitaripupupurato."

the anus bleeder bowed to the headmaster. he didnt know his name. he called himself anus bleeder as it was the only name he could bear.

"i am lost. i dont know my purpose. i am on a quest to find my name."

the sushi cat gave him a map.

"u must travel to curry rice mountain where the holy god gandhi shall banish you."

martin appeared next to anus bleeder.

"wow, i was dying. all these old ladies pulling on my cheeks and telling me how cute i was. then i whipped out my dictionary and went super saiyan grammar on them. the end"

"he shall accompany u to the curry rice mountain." said sushi cat whose name is too long to type. "go now. but beware of the ogre. its his swamp"

"we havent started til' its ogre" said anus bleeder and off anus bleeder and martin went, ahead to shreks swamp, where they'd have to go through if they wanted to see gandhi.