Trailing Stars (Trailing Stars #1)

Chapter 11

The car ride to the park is silent, and the gravity between me and Nathan feels heavier than I'm used. I don't want to be the one to fracture it, though. Now that I'm sure I'm a black hole, I don't want to do anything that might hurt Nathan more than he already is. And he is hurt. I'm not so destructive that I can't see it, but I am so destructive that I don't trust myself to go about orbiting closer to him.

Once Nathan parks the car along the street, he turns to look at me. "Everything okay?" Just like that, the gravity changes and it's like he's orbiting me instead of the other way around. He doesn't feel like a black hole anymore. He feels like a star, trying to shine light on me. "You haven't said much since we left Varies."

I nod, unbuckling my seatbelt. "Just lost in thought."

Nathan tilts his head to the side. "About what?"

I gesture to the night sky through the windshield. "Stars and..."

I don't know if I want to talk to Nathan about black holes. If he confirms that I am one, I might collapse on myself in an instant. But that's better than becoming even more destructive than I already am. I know I'm capable of it. I just don't want to see it happen again.

"Just stars," I say, reaching for the door handle.

Nathan follows me out of the car, and we trudge through the snow to the frozen lake. "What about stars?"

As I take off my shoes, I look up at the night sky. "That they're trailing."

I feel his eyes on me, but he doesn't say anything. He just waits for an elaboration, but that's really the same thing as asking me to explain. Instead of responding, I shove on my skates and step out on the ice first. Once Nathan has his skates on, he doesn't hesitate to follow which catches me off guard. So does the fact that he's skating without needing to hold onto me. I can't think of anything else as I watch him skate. He's graceful on the ice now that he can stay on his own two feet. When I comment on it, he admits he and Clara went skating a few times together after I left or before we hung out.

I smile. "She must be a good teacher."

Nathan laughs. "She can be, but she's not as patient as you are."

"Still. You made good progress with her."

"I think that was more because of my determination than her teaching skills." I arch an eyebrow, and Nathan lets out a breath, glancing away. "After you fell that one time, I felt bad about not being able to skate well enough to make sure you were okay when that was all you've been doing for me. So I wanted to spend more time skating in case it happened again." He offers me a shy smile. "Now I'm more prepared in case you do fall."

I blink, all thoughts of black holes leaving my mind as I take in Nathan. He really is a star in every sense of the word. Bright. Warm. Beautiful. Somehow, he makes me feel the same way every time he looks at me.

"Thanks," I whisper.

He shrugs. "I'm sure you'll still end up catching me more than I'll catch you."

"We'll catch each other from now on."

Nathan glances up. "Like catching stars."

If I am one... Black holes come back to mind and look down at the ground, the stars suddenly a little too bright for me.

"Are you okay?" Nathan asks, skating a little closer to me.

"I'm fine." I swallow, pulling on my sleeves. I take a few breaths before meeting Nathan's eyes. "Thanks for learning how to skate just for me. And for skating with me at two in the morning."