The Rules Of Life And People

[LONG] Like Yourself

One of the Rules is that you need to accept yourself. But if you want to be truly happy, you have to go one better. Yep, you have to actually like yourself.

Some of us have no problem, but some of us struggle with it. To begin with, you have to WANT to like yourself. It's no good feeling that you shouldn't like yourself, that this would make you vain or arrogant or self-centered. It can be a tough call, but you have to break down any psychological, religious, cultural or self-creating feeling that you don't deserve to like yourself.

Listen, this isn't about thinking you're a fabulous person without any faults. It's about being relaxed in your own company and appreciating your qualities, I like lots of people who are flawed, tricky, complicated, imperfect. So I dont see why I shouldn't be allowed to like myself too, with all my shortcomings. Why should we be harder on ourselves than we are on everyone else?

So recognize that while you're not perfect, you're no worse than lots of likeable people. And the same Rule applies to other people. I have friends and family who (despite the fact that I like them) occasionally behave in ways I'd prefer them not to. I can see past that and still like them. So it stands to reason that I too, can be likeable even when, sometimes, I do something stupid and regret later.

This is particularly hard for people who haven't been lucky enough to grow up loved and valued. I know this might not be easy. However, I really want you to grasp this because you of all people deserve it, and happiness may elude you until you do.