LOVE 06
14:03
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yoongi had invited me out for a walk through an autumnal park in seoul. a glistening river dribbled through its heart, the water clear enough to see shoals of carp and bream at the surface. crisp leaves crunched beneath our feet as we paced slowly along the manoeuvring pathway.
it had been less than a week since he had told me about his ex girlfriend. since then, i hadn't been able to abandon the swell of sympathy for yoongi. he didn't strike me as the type to cry easily, and although he tried to hide it, the inflated puff around his eyes was overly noticeable over skype.
we had chosen to dress quite similarly; ripped jeans and a hoodie. i'd worn my denim jacket too. the cold didn't often bother me, but when it did i hated it.
"are you not cold?" i asked yoongi, who walked, shivering, half a step behind me.
"i'm alright," he replied without eye contact. the remainder of his breath bloomed in an icy cloud around his lips.
our silence was strange. usually, we were both more talkative, "ooh, let's cross here," i pointed to a red, wooden bridge that led to a more dense side of the park, "they sell crepes and hot drinks over there. come on!" i laughed, jogging over to the bridge to warm myself up. i looked back to see a small gummy smile stretch over his lips, before following me in a slow jog.
when we reaches the coffee cart, i pulled stray coins from out of my pocket. together they would've been enough to buy us both drinks, "what are you doing?" i was asked.
"i thought paying for your americanos was my thing now?" i joked, swiping the coins across my palm, silently counting them.
"not today," yoongi spoke bluntly, pushing my hand down and continuing to pull his wallets from his hoodie pocket, "what do you want?" i stuttered, ready to protest against him wasting his money on me, "what do you want?" he repeated, looking me dead in the eye. he seemed serious, and i don't think arguments with yoongi were arguments i would win.
"chai tea latte," i grinned, leaving petty tension behind us. he ordered and payed, and as we waited, pulled two sugar sachets from the acrylic holder at the end of the cart. he thanked the server with more cheer than i'd received in any of the stores i'd met him in.
we resumed our trek through the park, following the river tightly. i drunk my latte quicker than yoongi drank his americano, but i carried the empty cup until he threw his away too.
we came to a fork in the park, where two of the three trails led to closer, more quieter areas of the forest. we followed the one furthest to the right, that slowly ascended into a higher point with a view i couldn't quite get from my apartment.
just below my hip, i felt cold, pin fingers begin to intertwine with mine. shivers curled down my spine, but i wouldn't flinch. his warmth was welcomed by my body, that was nearing frostbite with each step. yoongi's tender, plush skin pressed against the cold silver of my mother's ring, pushing it further onto my lowest knuckle.
i looked down to where my hand hung idly. his skin was only slightly lighter than mine, yet still seemed as delicate as porcelain itself. the crooked cords of veins curled around his bony hands, bulging with his tight grasp of my hand. his hand was a security i didn't know i craved.
yoongi caught me staring at our physical connection, drew away his hand and apologised profusely for it, "no no, it's okay. i don't mind," i smiled honestly. he stepped wider from me, yet still in time with my footsteps, "you're quite warm, actually."
"i didn't even ask-"
"yoongi please, it's okay," his delicacy was heartwarming, near enough to melt anybody, "i just-"
i stopped when he whirled to look at me. any sign of doubt was what he was looking for. anything he could use to blame for that bitch he would use. i'd known yoongi long enough to know he worked like that, "i just don't want you to rebound this quickly. you're just out of a long-term relationship; that still counts for something."
he looked me up and down, evidently confused by my profound words, "allow yourself some time to figure out whether you want something like this."
"i do," he replied quickly. he knew it sounded desperate, and it did.
"be careful, yoongi. those words can mean more than you might want them to."
