You Can't Improvise on the Field (BxB)

Act Two, Scene 1: Ryan

"Honey, you have to eat," my mom said, looking at me with worry in her eyes. The last time she had this expression was the week of dad's accident. I didn't like seeing her like this, but I was hurting on the inside in a way that I didn't think was possible.

I blankly stared at the now semi-warm scrambled eggs sitting on top of my plate. I grabbed my fork and moved the food around but made no attempt to actually eat some.

"I'm not hungry," I told her, placing the fork down.

My mom let out a sigh and glanced at her phone. She had a meeting soon; I know because she has it written on her fridge calendar. She looked back at me but stayed silent. We had come into an agreement years ago that if something were bothering me, I would talk to her and dad. If I didn't say anything, it meant that I was dealing with it on my own.

"Ryan, I have to go. Are you going to the bookstore today?" She asked as she grabbed her jacket and purse,

"No, Moira is filling in for me today," I replied, getting a simple nod back. She gave me a quick hug and kiss on the forehead before walking out.

I looked down at my plate and groaned before taking a bite of the eggs. Yeah, I'm in a bad mood, but mom already made the food, and I wasn't about to just waste it. After finishing my plate, I walked into my living room and plumped down on the soft brown couch to let my thoughts take over.

It's been a few days since I told Liam I was gay. As luck would have it, I found out Liam was using me for a dare on that same night. My mind drifted back to the day he first approached me in class. How I found myself lusting for him with not only his looks but with his loving heart. He was nice to me, but I was blinded. Now, I can finally see it was just an act. Everything he said, everything he did, it was all just an act in his stupid game.

Even though I told him to leave me alone, Liam keeps trying to apologize. He sends a text once in a while and usually calls and leaves a voice mail. They all say the same thing: he's sorry, he was dumb, he hopes we can be friends. But I ignore him. He didn't deserve forgiveness. How could someone be that selfish? He didn't care about my feelings.

After an hour or so of lying in my self-pity, I heard a knock on the front door. I stood up and strolled to the door, trying to recall if I was supposed to get a visitor today. I grabbed ahold of the door handle, took in a deep breath, and opened the door. It was Brody; thank god it was Brody.

"Hey Ryan," he said, standing on my front porch with his hands tucked into his jean pockets.

"Hey," I replied, "What's up?"

"You tell me." He said, and I tensed up. "Your mom called me, said I should check up on you."

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. I should have known my mom would do something like this. If I wouldn't talk with her, I would probably talk to Brody. The thing is, she hit the bullseye. I've wanted to spill everything to Brody; I just didn't know how to yet.

I led Brody into my house, stopping in the living room. He sat down on the couch in front of me, waiting for me to speak. But I was tongue-tied. I had already lost my dad and Liam; I didn't want to lose Brody.

"Dude, What's wrong? You've been acting really off lately. You rarely text me back, you seem distracted during football practice, and well, you just aren't yourself. Your mom sees it, and so do I. You're like a whole new Ryan, one that sits around doing nothing, barely giving any effort towards anything. I hate seeing you like this." He explained.

I sighed. Brody knew me better than anyone. Of course, he would notice when I'm not myself. I sat down and bit the inside of my cheek out of habit to keep myself quiet.

Brody continued, "You're my pal. My best friend. If something is bothering you, I want to help you out. I know at times it seems like I'm not the type of person to talk through feelings, but I will do anything to help you out. You're basically my brother."

"Brody, I'm fine," I replied. As much as I was yearning to tell him everything, some part of my head wouldn't budge. I looked away from him, and I could feel my heart start to race. It was as if two sides were battling in my body and head. To tell or not to tell.

"That's bullshit. Ryan, tell me what's up, or I am going to kick your ass." He said, except he was joking about kicking my ass. It took me a whole year to realize he was joking when he threatened that. Brody wasn't a douche. If he ever fought, it was for a good reason. He hated violence.

"You're going to hate me," I said.

Brody sighed, "I won't. We have been through too much together for me to hate you." He paused and then spoke slowly. "You didn't sleep with my mom, did you?"

My eyes instantly widened, and I laughed. For the first time in days, I laughed. Brody started laughing along with me and all the worry I was building up inside washed away. He was right. He was my best friend, and we have been through a lot together. I could tell him my secret.

"Brody... I'm gay." I quietly said at the end of my chuckle, looking away from him.

A few seconds pass, and it feels like hours. I finally risked a glance and noticed that Brody hadn't moved a muscle. He was staring at me, processing what I had just said.

"Brody, say something," I said.

Just then, Brody gets up and pulls me into a hug. Not an awkward hug, but a real tight, friendly hug. I instantly hugged him back and fought the sobs that were threatening to come out.

"I'm here for you, man. Everything is going to be all right." He said softly, and somehow that was all I needed to hear from him to feel better.

We ended our embrace and were silent. Now in an awkward what do I say? Silence, but a comforting one. I finally broke the silence and decided to tell Brody about what had happened with Liam. As I spoke, I made sure not to say Liam's name. Not only because it would hurt saying it, but no matter how mad I was, I didn't want Brody to get involved. Brody stared intensely as I spoke, nodding his head to communicate that he was still paying attention. When I finished, I wanted to crawl back into a ball of self-pity, but Brody placed his hand on my shoulder and gently squeezed it, reassuring me that he was here.

"I have an idea; how about we get your mind off this for a little while and watch Lucifer? Something tells me you haven't gotten around to it," he said with a slight grin, which I returned.

I nodded in agreement and quickly turned on my living room tv, opening Netflix, and playing some episodes in season four. As the episode played, I couldn't help but smile, knowing Brody was still here.

"What are you smiling about?" Brody asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing," I muttered and kept my eyes on the screen.

"Sure it isn't Tom Ellis being shirtless on your tv?" he teased, nudging my arm.

We laughed some more and continued making jokes as the show went on. I was genuinely grateful that Brody was here, and I was finally honest with him about this part of my life. My phone started ringing, and I grabbed it to see if it was the store. Instead, Liam's name was on the screen. I declined the call before Brody can look at the name and sighed.

"Hey, for the record, if I were into guys, I would date you in a heartbeat. Don't get too hung over that stupid guy. You don't deserve that." Brody commented, glancing at me,

I smiled a bit but didn't respond. It was still going to take some time to get over Liam; just the simple thought of him keeps bringing my spirits down. I focused my attention back on the show, trying to filter Liam out of my thoughts.