Unstable

Chapter One

Chapter One

Week number three on the streets and I swear I was on the verge of a break down. When I saw homeless people on the TV, I knew it was a struggle but I never realized how much of a struggle it was. After all, all I could feel was sorry for them – I couldn’t feel their hunger, desperation, embarrassment and boredom. My pride had to go out the window, even though I hated pushing it aside. Showering in public gyms wasn’t fun and neither was shitting in McDonalds. Everything was taking its toll on me and I felt hopeless.

I went back home a few times to ask for some money; I told my mom and dad that I was staying with a friend and trying to get back on track. Seems pointless but I’m glad I lied. I don’t want anything to do with them anymore. They got brand new after the third time I went round and started telling my brothers and sisters to ignore the door. I swear I even saw them walking down the street one time but they turned their heads in the opposite direction and started walking faster.

At this moment, I was stood waiting in line outside of Theo’s food truck. This place had the cheapest food in town and it tasted half decent; it was where all the homeless people kicked it. I found it following other homeless people aimlessly. There isn’t much to do on the streets and I’m not the type to ask for help so I just followed and watched from a distance to see how they lived. Soon I found myself at the front of the line.

“Hey Theo.” I said, smiling, as I stepped in front of the truck.

“What’s good baby love?” He asked in his half American half Jamaican accent. “You spoke to your mudda and fadda yet?”

“They’re not interested.” I mumbled in a low tone.

“They’ll come round yu’knah.” He said before changing the subject. “So what can I get you princess?”

“You still got Mac and Cheese left?”

That shit was always gone on Sunday afternoons and I had no idea why. He nodded his head and I smiled again.

“Can I get two portions of that?”

He started to talk about his childhood and his parents and how he is with his children now while he hooked up the food. It actually interested me what other people did in similar situations because I hadn’t been able to get much advice because I didn’t have any good friends besides one.

“$5.25 princess.” He said once he was done, ending the conversation.

I dug through my pocket and felt my scrunched up five dollar bill. I couldn’t feel any quarters … or any change. Then I remembered how we got robbed while we were sleeping last night. I already hadn’t eaten anything in the past 24 hours and my stomach was crying for food.

“I’ve only got five bucks.” I told him, trying to half smile the quarter out of existence. “Can I pay you next time?”

He laughed and I knew he was going to say yes. He handed over the food and I passed him the five dollars. After thanking him a couple dozen times, I made my way back to Jerome.

“Yo fool, I got you some food.” I said as I approached him.

He smiled at me, “This is why I love you boo.”

Jerome, Jerome, Jerome. I met this dude a week after my parents kicked me out when he came up to me asking why I was sleeping rough at this type of night. He seemed like a cool dude even though we were really different. He liked noise but at the moment I wanted peace, he was a beef kind of guy and I was a chicken kind of girl, he said Jay and I said Nas. At first, I didn’t want to talk and ignored him but he followed me around for two days so I had no option. He seemed lonely when I asked him why he kept following. He told me about how he didn’t really have friends, just associates, and how he wanted to help me out because he didn’t like seeing people getting eaten up by people and life on the streets.

We started to walk away from the truck and headed to the park. When we got there, we sat down and I handed him his food and a plastic fork before getting my food out.

“I’m broke with no source of income but I can’t go without food for a day again.” I told him as I opened up the container

“I hear that.” He said as he shoved food into his mouth.

Damn, he must’ve been real hungry.

“That motherfucker left me with five cents.” He continued. “I hate sleeping at that spot, shit like that is always happening but I was sleepy and didn’t want to walk far. Who robs the homeless though?”

I nodded. “So how we finna get this money?”

“I’ve got an idea but I want to know what you have in mind first.”

“Honestly … anything.”

It was as if he read my mind, “You know I’m not gonna let you be walking round back alleys sellin’ your body, right?”

“How else am I going to get money? What you got in mind then?”

“Well a couple years back, maybe five or six, me and my friends used to run with this dude called Lil Ryan. I was about twelve and he was like eighteen. He used to work for his step dad who was trying to become a kingpin. We did little deliveries for him for about three or four years. Dude was like a brother to me but he had to go under the radar and moved somewhere.”

“Why?” I asked. Ever since I had to lay low, hearing about other people’s situations interested me.

“Apparently, his chick was fucking with opps and they couldn’t set him for some reason. I don’t know why. So they told her to start letting shit ‘slip’ on Myspace, when people used to use it, and Facebook when it got popular because they knew Ryan was too deep in these streets to be checking status updates and shit. Fast forward, he had the FBI on his tail trying to arrest him.”

“So where’s ol’ dude at now?”

“I heard through the grapevine that he came back and now he’s got the drug game on lock. This dude I met  gave me a number to call but problem is I ain’t got no money for a pay phone.”

“Damn.”

“Chantelle?”

“Yeah?”

“You got to promise to me that you won’t go around repeating this to anyone else. Ok?”

“I won’t. I don’t have anyone to tell anyway.”

“That’s the only reason I’m telling you. Usually I wouldn’t trust someone I met three weeks ago. I just needed to make sure you wouldn’t let it slip.”

“About the payphone money…” I said, pausing to think. “I think I can get it … on one condition – that you bring me in.”

“Of course, let’s get to work partner!” He smiled.

I laughed, “C’mon now, who says that anymore?”