Deep Sacrifice [ l.s ]

My rant.

A/N: I tend to do this a lot but I can't help it! I just wanted to share a bit of story about my life with you guys because i don't have anyone to talk to in real life about this! It's fine if you don't care...you don't have to read this!

Sooo umm month ago a guy introduced himself as a "lowkey" in front of the class so he never really told us more about him...he was that mysterious kind of guy and me being me love that kind of person so I approached him first just wanted to be friends.. So yeah we were so so close we did all group assignments together even though I was the one who do all the work and I don't care cause we're friends.. So after couple of weeks I came out as bisexual to him and surprisingly he was so supportive and I loved him even more!

I friendzoned the shit out of him though..so yeah and one day he asked me saying "what are we?" So I answered that we are friends and he just nodded though and told me that I'm his bff means that I'm more than his girlfriend... That doesn't make any sense but I just shrugged it off...

One day my friend found his twiter acc so I asked her to followed him since he's in private so after he approved my friend I looked into his acc and all of his tweets are all about depression, heartbreak and love. He didn't mentioned who he was so in love. So when we were at college I asked him "are you okay?" And he answered with a no..started on that day he always asked me to hold his hands while walking so yeah I though he meant it as in platonic way. I even told him to find a girlfriend for himself but he said he liked being "alone" lol and I was okay with it. He said I'm the only one who understand him in person.

It started to get irritated when he asked me to kiss him and I was like no! I don't want to but he kept forcing me saying that he was so lonely and needed some attention. I still said no because I only saw him as my best friend! No way in hell!

After that I tried to avoid myself from him then.. he couldn't stop tweeting about suicide and I was so worried!

And the newest drama, yesterday as usually we did a quiz online together at me house...after we done all the questions I kinda asked him to submit the quiz first so that I can know how much I'm going to get but he refused. Me being a bitch forced him to do it and he finally submitted the quiz. So when I asked how many questions he got wrong he blocked my view from his laptop. I asked him again and he told me to change the answer for the last question saying that he got it wrong. I changed it and finally submitted mine. And of fucking course!! He lied! He got all 10 questions right and mine got only 9 right because he told me to changed it!! I was so so so mad! That damn quiz could effect my pointer for this semester!!

I started to yell all profanities at him and I kind of slipped "go fucking die!" from my mouth and I told him to get out. And that night he made a WhatsApp status saying that he wanted to kill himself! I immediately messaged him saying I was so sorry and he told me that its okay and that he love me!!

I regretted it so much because I told someone who has a bad depression problem to go die...I didn't mean it though.

So yeah that's the story..I know that it sounds like I made it up but this is real..my life is just full of dramas tbh.

Now I'm torn..I didn't know whether I should keep being friends with him or just avoid him because he started to become very touchy towards me..but if I left him alone..I'm afraid he will do something bad like killing himself! I don't want him to die because of me!! 😭😭

:((

I need some advice from a person...

Thanks for listening and as for that I'll update the next chapter soon!

-a